The month of March has been all about emotion. First there is the course I’m taking from Yale University that deals with emotions. And then this morning I was on a Zoom meeting with Authors Publish with a speaker talking about expressing the emotions of our protagonist. It’s all been very moving.

I know that I get caught up in the emotions of my characters. I laugh with them and I cry with them. And that is the goal for my readers. I want them to feel these emotions as they read my books.

I occasionally read books and emotions come out that I don’t really want to feel. Sometimes they are triggered by memories that are best left in the past. After all, I have already dealt with them. Or have I? Then why am I so uncomfortable reading some of these books? Maybe there’s still work to be done.

Emotions and behavior modelled by parents and teachers in our childhood have a strong influence in the way we conduct our own lives as adults, especially when we find ourselves in difficult situations when it comes to resolving conflict. These then have a great influence on our own children, or on our students if we are educators.

Think about that for a moment. Teachers spend a lot more time with children than parents do. Subsequently our biases are often passed on, often subconsciously. It can be confusing for children to choose as some of these values may be in direct conflict from those expressed by their parents. And to make matters even more complicated, children themselves may have very different ideas.

One of the writing prompts I came across recently posed this question: “Who was the one teacher that made the biggest impression in your life?” I thought about that one long and hard, because the one teacher I had in mind was not only a horrible teacher but was also a lousy guidance counselor. Back in tenth grade he told me to switch from the university entrance program to the business education program. How encouraging! Despite the fact that I skipped classes and often ignored homework assignments, my grades were high. And of course that annoyed him even more. In this case, my confusion back in high school resulted in anger and frustration. His advice resonated throughout my college years where I continued to skip classes but still maintained a high grade point average.

As an adult today I’ve let go of the anger. However I feel strongly that this particular teacher had no place being in a classroom and should never have been a guidance counselor either. I wonder what unresolved issues he had in his own life that caused him to have such a strong negative influence on not only myself, but other students as well. And as a teacher myself, I do my best to understand why students exhibit certain behaviors. Only then can I best help them.

I’m glad I didn’t switch programs back in high school. I have attended universities in Canada and in Mexico. I have earned accreditations in psychology, sociology, counseling, education and yes, even in business administration. These have enabled me to live in different countries, to meet fascinating people and to have amazing adventures.

My advice – Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. They will lead you on an exciting journey through life.