Tag Archives: therapy

Sep24

Desperate Housewives

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Desperate Housewives

When I come up to Washington each spring, one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV in English. In Mexico I make a point of watching in Spanish. I also find myself binge watching certain series with my friend Linda. Seeing as there has been no Virgin River or Lincoln Lawyer this year, we’ve watched Eric and My So Called Life.

I’m also watching one series on my own. Desperate Housewives brings back a lot of memories when on Sunday nights my kids and I used to watch it together. Once I moved to Mexico I never did catch up on the remaining seasons so I decided to do that now.

I’m in Season 7 now. This morning’s episode was when Gabrielle confronted her past. At first she fought the therapy sessions. But then she realized that the only way to move on with her life was to deal with the demons in her past. The big one was sexual abuse by her stepfather.

And that brought me back to my counseling days. One of the first people I ever counseled was a young woman dealing with sexual abuse. It took her years to finally be brave enough to come forward and admit the abuse. And as a counselor, I’m certain that I was only the first of professionals to come who would help her along the journey to healing.

In the very first counseling class I ever took, our instructor gave us a rather interesting first assignment. We were told to find a therapist; the idea being that if we had never been on the client side of that desk then we would never succeed on the counselor side. By a show of hands, I also recall that in that classroom of more than twenty students, only three of us admitted that we had previously been in therapy. Also noteworthy is that the following week, the class had greatly diminished in size. While there were more than three students, there were far fewer than twenty.

Back to Desperate Housewives and Gabrielle. This episode got me thinking of my own past. No. I never experienced sexual abuse. But I have sat on the client side of that desk and I know how difficult it is to look back at your childhood and realize that it was far from idyllic. Truthfully, the presence of both a mother and a father in the home does not necessarily make a family functional; indeed it can be quite the opposite.

I may be retired but I can still offer advice. Be open to suggestions. Embrace change. Take risks. We only get one crazy ride on the roller coaster of life.

Jan17

A Teaser

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A Teaser

Back in 1973 I started writing a story abut a troubled teenager. Marriage and kids happened and I stopped writing. Decades later when cleaning out my storage unit I came across that story along with some poetry that I’d written. I saved the poetry but trashed the story.

A few years ago I took a memoir writing course when I was living in Leavenworth. At that time my goal was to write memoirs for my granddaughter Madeline. However it hasn’t turned out that way. There are a lot of stories I don’t want her to even know about. And then there are the stories that remind me that my childhood was not that idyllic after all and were too depressing to write about. One thing about therapy is that it awakens you to the fact that your childhood was not really a happy one and it opens the door to recognize just how dysfunctional a family you come from. So Madeline, for now my claim to fame is that I sought asylum in two foreign countries during a pandemic. Perhaps when you are older there may be more stories.

After being unable to write memoirs, I turned to writing fiction. Just as Covid hit, I found myself thinking about that story I’d begun several decades ago. Of course I’ve completely changed it around and it in no way resembles what I first started writing all those years ago. This time, the story follows my protagonist from the time he is ten years old through his teen years to adulthood. And he is bipolar. He struggles with substance abuse. He struggles with a number of failed relationships. He struggles with life.

I have three friends who are bipolar. They live in three different countries and range in age from forty to eighty. And they are all female. Thankfully they are all receiving professional help and are thriving. But this isn’t always the case.

There are two schools of thought when it comes to diagnosing bipolar disorder, and there is more than one type of this disorder that can be diagnosed. There are the psychiatrists who overzealously label their patients and at the other end of the spectrum there are the psychiatrists who are reluctant to diagnosis their patients as being bipolar. But one thing all psychiatrists agree on is that in order to lead a rewarding and productive life, patients with bipolar disorder must take their prescribed medication responsibly and attend regular therapy sessions. That way it is the professional who adjusts the medication when necessary and hopefully prevents the patient from self-medicating which leads to other problems.

Back to my protagonist. I’ve had to to do research. I have a friend in Calgary who is a doctor and has been advising me about pharmacology as well as other medical issues. But I thought I’d like to touch base with a psychiatrist as well. And I am here in Mexico now. I asked around and got a recommendation for a psychiatrist in my neighborhood who speaks English. I tentatively sent him a message on What’s App telling him that I’m a writer and my protagonist is bipolar and I’d like some input as to pharmacology and therapy. I received a reply back immediately. “Please come see me. We can talk. I can give you pills. You will feel better.” Okay, I’ll try again. I translated my request into Spanish and sent it to him. Once again, he replied with the same message as before in English. I sent another message thanking him for his time but I really didn’t feel that he’d be able to help me. In the next three days he bombarded me with more messages identical to the original one. I finally blocked him on What’s App.

Back to my protagonist. He’s had all kinds of issues going on in his childhood. These issues are an interesting prelude as to what is to come later in his life and that is why I made the decision to begin the story with his childhood years although bipolar disorder is not usually diagnosed until late teens or adulthood.

I have a great title in mind for this novel. But I’m not quite ready to share that with you. Another time perhaps. Right now, it’s write, edit, rewrite, repeat. So please don’t ask me when I will be done and when it will be published. The plan is that it will be in this lifetime. 😊

May15

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

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May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

Back in 1949 US Congress established Mental Health Awareness Month due to all the soldiers returning from World War II who were suffering from mental illnesses. However it wasn’t until 1980 that PTSD was recognized as a disorder and added to the DSM-III. And it wasn’t until years later that it was determined that PTSD could be attributed to any significant traumatic event and not just caused by experiences during a war.

The main character in my book is bipolar. I know a handful of people who struggle with this disorder. The appropriate medication and therapy are helpful. However there is a high incidence of people who stop taking meds and stop going for therapy when they begin to feel better. My character is one of those and it has led to other problems including substance abuse as well as failed relationships.

Post Covid, psychiatrists and psychologists are even more in demand. The pharmaceutical companies are enjoying a booming business. On the downside, the problem of homelessness has escalated and the crime rate has risen. Suicidal ideation has become more common and suicide attempts have increased. Sadly the suicide rate is also on the rise again.

The stigma of having a mental health condition is still there. A chemical imbalance in the brain is not viewed in the same way as a broken leg or hypertension or any other number of physical problems. The public still requires further education when it comes to matters of depression and anxiety. People often state that they don’t know what to say to people struggling with depression. Sometimes it’s not the words. It’s the actions that count. Let a person know that you care about them. That is certain to make a difference in their life.

Several years ago I experienced a major depression. While medication and therapy were helpful, a hug from a friend was just as important. You don’t want to go out for coffee today Karen? Fine. Then I’m bringing it to you. We’d often sit in silence but that didn’t matter. You cared enough to be by my side. How about if we go out for a drive? Amazing what a change in scenery can do.

Words can’t describe the incredible comfort I got from my dog. Koal would snuggle up with me for hours on end. He would amuse me when he played with a squeak toy or chased after a ball. Yes, animals are right up there when it comes to providing support when we are hurting. In all honesty, he was my major source of unconditional love at a very dark time in my life.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I encourage you to reach out to someone who is struggling. Knowing that someone cares will make all the difference in the world to that person.