Oct14
It’s Complicated……………………..Part 6 and That’s It For Another Year
Oct8
Three Bars in Mazatlan
I was spoiled by all the bars on Calle Independencia within walking distance of my house back in Tlaquepaque. But the three bars I frequented in the past week are a short bus or car ride away as Mazatlan is not a large city.
Peggy introduced me to Edgar’s Bar on Saturday afternoon. Located a couple of blocks away from the mercado in Centro, it was a cozy place to hang out on a rainy afternoon. It’s also the home of the 18 peso cerveza. And in the evenings there is live karaoke. We were also the only females in the bar. Two flatscreen TVs hung on the wall. One featured bullfights and the other some type of musical variety show. The decor is quaint and relaxing. I felt transported back in time in this Mexican cantina as I sipped on cold beer and endulged in complementary botanas. Today it was some type of meat, refried beans, tortillas and spaghetti.
On Sunday ComicX at Galerias was the complete opposite. This is an American chain that has invaded Mexico and the theme is comic book heroes. Spiderman, Wonder Woman and Batman are just three of the large looming figures throughout the restaurant. The beer was twice the price of Edgar’s but it was air-conditioned, had great music and our server was most attentive. Steve, Etziel and I spent a wonderful afternoon here, practicing Spanish and English.
Tuesday afternoon the venue was in Sabalo Country at La Casa del Cameron. Renowned for its cheap beer, it was also all you can eat shrimp night for a low price. Steve and Etziel each ate four platters of shrimp, definitely guys with big appetites. I nibbled on a burger as I’m allergic to shrimp. An interesting decor and music from a birthday party made the experience most enjoyable. This is a popular hangout for expats, and a horseshoe pit is in the wings along with daily card games.
Three bars in four days. Now I’m sipping a Jaztea.
Oct6
Monday Musings and Memories
A memory showed up on my Facebook page today. Four years ago today I had just arrived in Tlaquepaque and had begun teaching at Culturlingua. One night after class I went to a bar called Otro Nivel with some other teachers. There was a fabulous Mexican band playing awesome English rock music from the 60s and the cerveza was 2 for 1. I live in Mazatlan now and that night at the bar still seems like yesterday although years have passed by.
Life is for living. There are so many adventures out there just waiting in the wings. Of course the hitch is that this involves change, and many people thrive on routine and the security that it provides. I’ve come to the conclusion that I thrive on change, not on routine. Otherwise I would never have arrived in Tlaquepaque in October of 2011.
In July of 2011 I returned to Winnipeg after teaching in Culiacan. I halfheartedly began searching for a job. But Mexico had stolen my heart, and I knew that I no longer wanted to call Winnipeg “home.” I received a job offer from a school in Irapuato and a month later I was on a plane headed for Leon.
I was excited to be back in Mexico although life in Irapuato was definitely different from life in Culiacan. A sleepy little pueblo where the highlight was the soccer stadium didn’t have much appeal. The school was a disaster as the actual job in no way, shape or form resembled the promises on the Skype interview. But my supervisor Pilar became a good friend. The last Saturday in September, Pilar and I were sipping cappuccinos at The Italian Coffee Company when my phone rang. I glanced at it briefly and Pilar asked who I knew in Mexico City, as that was the area code on the call display. I remarked that it must have been a wrong number or a telemarketer as I didn’t have that number stored in my contacts. My phone rang again a few minutes later and the same number showed up. Annoyed, I turned it off.
I returned home several hours later and turned my phone back on. That Mexico City number had called another four times! Intrigued, I decided to call that number. After all, what if it was an emergency or someone was dying and they were frantically calling my number in error? But it was no error. Instead it was a job offer.
Greg was the owner of Culturlingua in Tlaquepaque. A teacher had left unexpectedly and he was looking for another teacher. He’d seen my resume up on Dave’s ESL Cafe and had been calling me all day. I told him I needed some time to think about it. He gave me until later that evening. I hung up on him and tried calling Pilar but got voicemail.
And I pondered the situation. I was dissatisfied with my job. My housemates were less than desirable. The school had yet to provide me with promised health coverage. But the best was that they had not provided me with a contract either so there really was nothing tying me down to Irapuato. I called Greg back and accepted his offer. And I left a message for Pilar.
It was now after 8 pm and I had a lot to do. I had to pack and that was complicated by the fact that I had two heavy suitcases that I needed to somehow get down the stairs. Nate and Margie came to my rescue. They were teachers from Hawaii and were as disillusioned with the situation in Irapuato as I was. They agreed to meet me early in the morning and help me with my suitcases. I was so excited that night I could barely sleep!
Early the next morning before anyone in my house was up, Nate and Margie arrived and helped me with my suitcases. We had to walk a couple of blocks down the street until we found a taxi. I felt like I was fleeing a prison! Did I mention that the director of English at the school lived next door to me in the same house as Nate and Margie? He was pretty livid when he realized I was AWOL. But by then I was on a bus headed for Guadalajara. I should add that Nate and Margie made their own escape shortly thereafter.
I have never looked back. Moving to Tlaquepaque was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I have met some amazing people, have taught awesome students and have had incredible adventures.
My move here to Mazatlan was far less dramatic. I miss Guadalajara and the friends I have left behind. But I am drawn to the beach, to the calming azure waters and the smell of the salty sea air. And I know that more amazing people and incredible adventures await me here. Life is about living. Life is about change.
Oct2
My Dream Theory of Life
They say that cats have nine lives. My dream is that we have three. We need one life to nurture a family, one life for education and a career, and a third life for travel. Wouldn’t it be great to focus on only one area at a time rather than having to juggle it all together?
While I was busy raising a family, I furthered my education and pursued a career, albeit not the one I would have preferred. But that did give me the luxury of staying at home with my children when they were young. I was there to hear their first words, see their first steps and enjoy the blessings of motherhood. I was able to do this because I moved my office to my home and was able to work while my babies napped. I was able to combine family and career. Of course it meant a great deal of strategic planning when I went back to school as I was the main chauffeur, and it was a great help when my son was old enough to drive and could transport himself and his sister around for me. Yes, I was very fortunate. I didn’t have to worry about daycare. But most importantly I was THERE for my children. So many women today miss this opportunity.
But the third life I’d like to dwell on is that of travel. We traveled a fair amount when my children were younger. My son was only four months old the first time he flew on an airplane.By the time my youngest was seven, she had been to Disneyworld three times. We also saw The Alamo in Texas, plantation ruins in South Carolina, Rawhide in Arizona, The Riverwalk in San Antonio, as well as numerous zoos, aquatic parks, theme parks, museums and beaches all over the USA. We were at The Mall of America the week it opened. And there were all those weekend trips to Fargo and Grand Forks. Alas my children became teenagers and our days of family vacations came to an end.
Since I have been living in Mexico, I have met so many young people in their twenties and thirties traveling in Mexico and Central and South America. How I envy them! I would have loved to have thrown a backpack on and traversed through these countries when I was younger. Many have traveled extensively throughout Europe and Asia as well. What an education they are receiving! There is no better classroom than THE WORLD! So education can easily be combined with travel. Of course you do need the money, so that’s where a career comes in as well.
I would have preferred three lives; the first and most important being the one devoted to family, the second being a life where we devote ourselves entirely to education and a career, while the third being travel, where we have the unlimited freedom to go where we want whenever we want.
I know I’m dreaming. We only have one life and we need to juggle all three at the same time. But without dreams, life would be just a narrow road leading nowhere.
Sep19
I Love You
I haven’t written anything heavy in a while so I guess I’m due. I’m hurting right now. I know I’ll get over it. I always do. But I just haven’t been able to shake this feeling all day. Maybe by writing about it, the healing process might be easier. We’ll see.
I had a wonderful conversation with my daughter this morning. I haven’t heard her voice since last April when I left Guadalajara. Here in Mazatlan I don’t have access to long distance phone calls, and my daughter doesn’t Skype. Finally, she suggested last week that I meet her on Google Hangouts. So I promptly downloaded the app, in Spanish, and began to familiarize myself with it.
I messaged my daughter that I was on and she called me. Of course it took two tries as I had to find the Spanish words to answer the call. But hopefully we will do this again soon before I forget entirely how to use this app.
My daughter had to tell me something she knew would upset me. I know how difficult it was for her. But I did have to express my feelings. She accused me of prodding her with a guilt trip. My reply was that if she felt guilt, it was her own conscience speaking to her.
This is where love comes in, more specifically, a mother’s love. My children know that I love them unconditionally. There is nothing they can ever say or do that will change that. There are no strings attached to my love. Of course, along with this, they know that if someone has to be hurt, it will be their mother. She is the one person in their lives who will always be there for them, no matter how much she has been hurt.
Is it because a mother carries a child in utero for nine months? Is it because she breastfed instead of bottle fed? Is it because she was a stay-at-home mom? I think that all of these are factors that certainly strengthen that bond.
I think back to my own childhood. My parents provided a safe and secure environment with love bouncing off the walls. Sadly my own children did not have this experience when they were growing up. My children often remarked that I was like a single parent to them. The three of us were a triangle, with my husband loitering on the outside. I feel badly that my children did not have the experience I had as a child. While they now have some type of relationship with their father, it cannot make up for time lost in the past. But I am happy that they do have some type of relationship with him today. I am a firm believer in the present and the future. While memories are nice, we don’t live there anymore.
I will be somewhere up in the sky a month from now en route to my daughter’s wedding. I’m feeling a myriad of emotions about this occasion. My daughter has done considerable planning and organizing to ensure that all the guests coming from all over Canada and the USA have an exciting and memorable time in Punta Cana. I am so very proud of her and all that she has accomplished.
I Love You Kimmy.
Sep13
Collections: Treasures and Memories
A friend of mine is moving back to Canada after having lived in Mexico for a year and a half. Although he’d prefer to stay here, his life is complicated and necessitates returning to Canada for a while.
When he first came here, the intent was to remain here. He had a sizeable collection of DVDs and CDs, as well as computer and game equipment driven down here for him. However he is flying back now and the cost of shipping all this is prohibitive, so he is liquidating all of his treasures. Of course he is not receiving anywhere even remotely close to the value in terms of money.
I think back to my own collections and how I was in the same position a few years ago. In another lifetime I had an enormous collection of lighthouses that once filled an entire room. I had bookshelves with hundreds of cookbooks. And I had a small collection of sewing machines including a vintage treadmill. Unlike my friend, I had few CDs or DVDs as I never got custody of those when the marriage ended. The loss of these was solely because my children had given me some of these as gifts over the years. It wasn’t the actual music or movies.
Over time I have dealt with the heartbreaking memories. I sometimes recall with fondness where I acquired some of these items on my travels. Many were gifts from family or friends who have left this world, and those are the ones that tug at the heartstrings the most.
Right now my friend is most concerned with the dollar aspect. He needs to raise enough money to fly back and find an apartment where he can settle down for a while. His employment options are also limited. There will be time for the memories later on.
My situation was similar. I needed to raise enough money to support myself while I was back at university finishing my degree. I also needed money to enable two knee replacement surgeries and a lengthy recovery after each. My financial situation was precarious and life was stressful.
I first came to Mexico five years ago with one suitcase. My possessions have now increased to fill three suitcases. My biggest collection consists of a shelf of books. Everything is portable and can be moved easily, with the exception of a used crock pot that I have recently acquired.
However our lives are filled with more important collections that are not measured by things or possessions. Relationships with people and life experiences form other collections in our lives. Although intangible, these are the real treasures in life, providing us with precious memories that live in our hearts forever. I am so very grateful for all the people who have shared and been a part of my life. I love you all.
Saludos!
Sep10
Getting Ready To Leave
The following was written but not posted back in April. I miss you Guadalajara. If only you had a beach………….
It’s that time again. It’s been almost eighteen months but it has snuck up on me again. I’ve been setting up appointments in Winnipeg and preparing for my book launch. And now it’s time to pack. And I hate packing!!!!
A smaller bag of books and teaching materials is ready to go. That was easily done as soon as Easter break started. But it’s the two suitcases that are the headache. One stays here in Mexico, and one travels with me to Canada. And I doubt that any of my clothes I wear here are at all appropriate for the weather in Winnipeg. Tempting to just leave everything here and take a backpack with my laptop and a few things on the plane. But that’s just wishful dreaming……..
This last week in Guadalajara is going by all too quickly. I have made a point of going back to some of my favorite places, although there is still a long list of places I haven’t even been to yet.
My first priority was Parque Mirador. I have spent countless hours here gazing out at the canyon, taking photos and journalling. Peaceful, tranquil and my haven from the real world.
I spent a day in Zapopan near the Basilica. The vendors were out in full force displaying their religious items, jewelry, books and more. Although I have been here several times before, I finally decided to check out the art museum. Small, quaint and air-conditioned, it featured a tunnel leading to the rooftop where I found this!
I went back to Tonola and walked for hours. The displays by the artesans are awesome and this is one time I wish I had my own home here and could decorate it myself. I think I’d put this cute little guy out in my garden.
I also went back for one last visit to Lake Chapala and Ajijic. Although the water is rapidly disappearing from the lake, I still enjoy the walk along the malecon as well as strolling through the tianguis.
There are so many beautiful churches here in Guadalajara. The architecture, art and statues are amazing. How wonderful that these ancient buildings have been preserved!
I will miss Calle Independencia with its shops, artesans and restaurants. Day and night, this pedestrian pathway is alive with people and music.
Guadalajara has some incredible museums. They may not have elevators and restaurants, but the ambiance and the displays are amazing.
I have spent hours in the Jardin Hidalgo right here in Tlaquepaque. The fountains and flowers are lovely, and this has been a favorite spot for people-watching.
It goes without saying that I will miss my students, despite the long commutes to Zapopan and Miravalle. We have had some fabulous discussions in Conversation Club and Saturdays just won’t be the same. And I’ll be able to sleep in on Monday and Wednesday mornings! I have really enjoyed my students this year, and I wish them all the best of luck in their studies.
Adios Guadalajara! Hasta luego!
Sep6
Reverse Culture Shock
Traveling and living in another country are amazing experiences I have had. I have immersed myself in in a foreign culture, have acquired a new language and have adjusted to a different climate. But the biggest challenge has been returning to my hometown for visits.
After eight months in Culiacan, I returned to Winnipeg intent on finding employment and remaining in Canada. While it was great to see my children and my friends, it definitely was not one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I had grown accustomed to a far different way of life in Mexico and I was quickly overwhelmed by the stressful lifestyle in Winnipeg. I lasted five weeks and breathed a sigh of relief when I boarded that flight back to Mexico.
The following two years were a split of six months in Guadalajara and six months in Winnipeg as I had two knee replacements done a year apart in Canada. I really had to psyche myself up for those lengthy Canadian stays. Anxiety and panic attacks were my constant companions along with grueling physiotherapy following the two surgeries.
When I returned to Guadalajara, it was for eighteen months this time. I planned a brief visit to Winnipeg to launch my second book in May of this year. However the two weeks dragged out to five weeks and it really was no vacation. I had a myriad of appointments and endless issues to contend with. Those weeks were exhausting and stressful.
I returned to Mexico in June and moved directly to Mazatlan. I welcomed the challenges of a new city to explore. Of course I did have to deal with Immigration and that comes in second only to divorce in terms of stress and aggravation.
Reverse culture shock is common when you have lived in another country and return to your hometown. The biggest obstacle for me is the concept of time. Here in Mexico, the pace is much slower. I like to call it the “land of manana.” There’s always another bus, another train and another day. There is no rush and multi-tasking is not a necessity. Everything gets done in its own time.
When I returned to Winnipeg, multi-tasking was an absolute necessity. Appointments combined with shopping in the same morning or afternoon left me feeling like I was in a marathon. I missed my little corner tiendas and the neighborhood tienguis. I missed the leisurely stroll to a coffee shop or a bar instead of the hassle of driving in traffic.
I missed the sound of the beautiful Spanish language. Although English is the predominant language in Winnipeg, I heard far more conversations in a variety of foreign languages when shopping in the malls.
I missed the smiling Mexican faces greeting me with a Buen Dia although they were complete strangers to me. Bus drivers would wish me a good day when I said gracias as I alighted from the bus.
While it was nice to return to some of my favorite restaurants, I missed the street food in Mexico. Wherever I was, a taco stand or a churro stand were never far away. And many of the foods I had become accustomed to in Mexico just were not available in Winnipeg.
I missed the loudspeakers blaring in the streets advertising tamales or fruit or mattresses. I missed the jingle of the Zeta gas truck and the bells of the ice cream vendors. I missed people trying to sell me pencils or tools through my window. I missed people offering me pots and pans in exchange for jewelry.
I could go on and on. But until you have actually done what I have, I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand the struggle in returning to your home town after a lengthy stay in another country. My world no longer begins and ends in Winnipeg. I have grown and learned so much in the past five years in Mexico. And isn’t that what life is all about?
Sep2
Nothing Lasts Forever. Or Does It?
I had just about completed another blog post when I received an email from my son last night. I decided to put that one on hold and write this one instead.
My son is a man of few words and very seldom do I receive an email from him. He asserts that he is fine, everything is fine, nothing is new so there is no point in sending emails. He doesn’t quite get that his mother treasures these rare messages of sparse wording. Or maybe he does.
The message last night was that the arcade in the Columbia Mall in Grand Forks, North Dakota had closed. A flood of memories overwhelmed me. Flashbacks of weekend trips to Grand Forks over the years filled my head. My son was never into shopping in the mall when he was younger. The highlight was always the time spent in that arcade. And last night I was really moved that he had taken the time to send me that short message about the arcade.
That also brought back another memory. When I was pregnant with my son I spent a lot of time in bed for health reasons. I was determined to carry him to term and that required a much more sedentary life than I usually led. A friend introduced me to soap operas in order to pass the time. And I became a faithful follower of The Guiding Light. That meant that my son in utero was drawn into the drama of Josh and Reva as well. Shortly after my marriage ended, this show was cancelled. My son heard the news and phoned me. I was really touched by that phone call.
And then a third memory surfaced. When I was pregnant with my son, I used to read to him, sing to him, listen to music and dance with him. A bond between mother and child begins long before the actual birth of the baby. Some years later, in his teenage years, my son made me a CD with some music he thought I’d enjoy. To my amazement, many of these songs were the very ones he had heard in utero. Many of these had been long forgotten by me, and I’m sure that my son hadn’t heard these since he was in my womb. After all, it was the 90’s now and he was born in 1980.
Nothing lasts forever. Or does it? That mother-son bond remains strong. It just manifests itself in different ways. Perhaps because we live thousands of miles away in different countries, I have become more sensitive to this as I grow older. Love you Kyle!
Aug23
The Five Year Question
Where do you picture yourself five years from now? This is one of the most common questions asked in a job interview. Five years ago at this time I was living in Winnipeg and teaching ESL in a program at Red River College. I recently came across some old journal entries and this was my response in July of 2010.
“I expect to be teaching ESL here in Winnipeg possibly even in this college. My roots are here, my children are here and my friends are here. These are all very strong ties.”
However life intervened and God quite obviously had other plans for me. I left Winnipeg in the fall of 2010. Other than returning for two surgeries and a book launch, Mexico has pretty much become home to me. My daughter moved to Ontario three years ago and my son built a house in Transcona, which to me may as well be another city as I’m not familiar with that area at all. And I discovered a lifestyle in a foreign country that is very appealing.
I enjoy teaching here in Mexico where students are eager to learn and are appreciative of the efforts of native English speakers. They are not demanding and do not possess that sense of entitlement which so many of the students in Canada exhibited. Pictured below are Adriana and Cecelia, two of my students last year in Zapopan.
My friendships here are very different. I don’t have the same close network of girlfriends. There is no-one here to share the memories in the same way, although people are curious about my past. Most of my friends here in Mexico are decades younger than me, as are the men I date.
Since moving to Mazatlan, this has changed. I’ve met some new friends at church and most of them are considerably older than I am by more than a decade. While I do enjoy having friends closer to my age, I do miss all of my younger Jalisco friends, especially Monica and Claudia pictured below.
As I sit here on a rainy day pondering my future, I can’t quite fathom creating a reply to that five year question. I appear to be firmly rooted in Mexico, but can’t quite pinpoint exactly where. I have an awesome Mexican family in Culiacan. I miss so many things about Guadalajara, but I really love the beach here in Mazatlan. I have met amazing people and made wonderful friends from all over this vast country. There are also so many fascinating places I have yet to discover. And I agonize over the fact that my own children refuse to come and visit me here. I wonder where I will be five years from now……………….
iamkaren23 