Looking For Love

Looking For Love

Internet dating sites. They are everywhere. We are bombarded by their advertisements when we watch TV or listen to the radio. They show up on Facebook and other social media. Statistics show that you are more likely to meet your soulmate on the Internet than you are to meet them at the gym, work, school or in your community. There are websites designed to help you create your perfect profile.

When I lived in Canada I had friends who constantly perused these sites. At the time I was very married and quite dismissive of their efforts to find the perfect partner on line. In actuality most of them met with disastrous results yet they were hooked on these sites.

A close friend of mine here has chosen to join not one but two of these sites, and he has graciously shared his experiences with me and has encouraged me to write a blog post about them. So here goes…………..

My friend is in his late fifties, a casualty of multiple divorces and has just recently ended a long distance relationship with a woman in another country. He readily admits that he is needy and craves attention. He is in search of an honest and sincere lady with minimal baggage and grown, independent children.

He signed up on Our Time, a site for people over the age of fifty. He described himself as toned and athletic build and stated his hobbies and favorite pastimes. He also included several photos on his profile, as he is searching for an attractive partner with a build similar to his own.

Within minutes he was deluged with women from all over the USA, as well as other countries. He was unprepared for the huge response from women in their thirties. What in the world were they doing on a site supposedly geared to people over the age of 50? They eagerly provided him with phone numbers for texting and email addresses. And he groaned loudly about all the photos of women who are a little on the heavy side and don’t meet his criteria for physical appearance.

Dismayed by the lack of proper matching by profile, he then chose to join Match. He is frustrated by all the women out there who want to text and message but not talk on the phone. Equally annoying are all the women who have messaged him with contact info, yet their profiles are empty of words as well as photos. I caution him to beware of scams.

My friend is very trusting. While he is open and honest, I highly doubt that everyone out there in cyberspace is. It will be interesting to see just how his new relationships unfold. I firmly believe that the best way to get to know someone is in person, face to face. Only then are we able to determine if the profile pics are realistic and if the words written are sincere and true.

I suppose there is a plus to all this. He is learning about Skype and Google Chat, as he has found a few women who want to actually talk. And he has found a couple of local ladies and has spent hours on the phone with them. One of them he has actually had two dates with, and he is meeting another woman over the weekend. These two women have divulged a great deal of information about themselves and their past relationships to him, much of which he has shared with me.

Last night he informed me that the latest woman of interest lives in Guyana and they are now trying to figure out a way to talk other than just messaging. And he is going home to the east coast for Thanksgiving and is contemplating looking up a couple of the ladies in that area. His search is indeed intense and filled with enthusiasm. Will it be another long distance relationship? Or will he decide to engage in a relationship with someone who lives closer by? I know he will continue to confide in me, but I think that this will be my one and only post on his adventures in the Internet dating world. 

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