I admit it. I’m a date-a-holic. Is that even a word? Well, if it isn’t, then I just created it. The definition is that I have certain dates ingrained permanently on my brain. 

People remark that it’s a blessing to remember dates. Birthdays and other important occasions are never forgotten. Many of my friends tell me that if it wasn’t for Google calendar or Facebook, they would never keep track of these dates.

As for me, I often feel that some dates are best forgotten, and being a date-a-holic is a curse at times. But life goes on and these dates often have new meaning which is always welcome in my life.

November 24th was my parents’ anniversary. We all celebrated their 30th together in 1976. Less than three months later, my father passed away on February 9th. To my delight, my son Kyle was born on that date in 1980.

June 17th was given new meaning when I had my second successful knee replacement in 2013. And June 18th, 2014 marked the two year anniversary of my first knee replacement surgery. These days are now definitely a reason to celebrate. Chronic debilitating pain has been replaced by the ability to walk comfortably for miles.

June 17th this year also announced the arrival of my new grandkitty in Ontario. When I phoned my daughter Kimmy she was driving home with her new kitten Jimmy. Here is a pic she posted later that evening. Sooooooo adorable! 

March 25th this year had new meaning as my daughter shared the wonderful news that she and her boyfriend had gotten engaged while on vacation in The Dominican Republic. Although they haven’t set a wedding date yet, I am excitedly looking forward to this happy occasion.

Mother’s Day will always be bittersweet as my mother passed away June 19th, 1996 and I live thousands of miles away from my own children. But I enjoyed a wonderful Mother’s Day this year in Tototlan with my friend Omar. Last year I was in Winnipeg with my son Kyle. And three years ago I was with my Mexican family in Culiacan. Celebrating Mother’s Day is always a day I look forward to, as I have no idea where I will be when the next one comes around. But I think of the Mother’s Day that I long to once again spend together with both of my children, but right now that is only a dream. We live in different countries and my children live in different provinces in Canada.

Growing up, Father’s Day was always a happy day spent with my family. After my father passed away it became a difficult rather than an enjoyable day. It became even more stressful as I had in-laws to contend with as well. I don’t miss the arguments about where to go for dinner with people I did not want to be with. Yes, I can honestly say that I have enjoyed Father’s Day again since I have been on my own and no longer in a marriage. It has become a peaceful, relaxing day where I no longer have to be with people out of obligation. Instead I have the time to reflect and to treasure the happy memories that are important to me.

On August 7th, 1992  I held Kelsey lovingly in my arms when the vet gave him the injection that ended his life. And then on December 7th, 2008 I did it all over again with Koal. My dogs were more than pets. They were more like children to me. And those were two of the worst days of my life. Kelsey’s birthday was June 25th and Koal’s was February 25th, and I miss them terribly, especially on those days.

Of course my daughter Kimmy’s birthday stands out in my mind. She missed my favorite auntie’s birthday by a mere 8 minutes and was born on March 29th, 1984. Here is a photo I found of the last time we were together on her birthday when we both lived in Winnipeg,

 

Two other birthdays always and forever in my head are my mother’s on April 5th and my father’s on November 17th. 

June 30th was a special day when my kids were young. We’d go to their schools to pick up their report cards and then we’d go out to celebrate the end of the school year. They enjoyed going to Chuck E Cheese and that became a tradition for a few years. We’d leave the restaurant amid storm clouds and the rain would begin to pound down on the car just blocks away from our house.

October 31st, Halloween, was always  a special time when my kids were young. We would decorate the house, bake spooky cookies and decorate a gruesome cake. And of course there was always a lot of excitement with costumes and going door to door collecting treats. Now that I am in Mexico with no kids, I now look forward to Day of the Dead celebrations on November 1st and 2nd. This is a time when Mexicans honor their ancestors with altars and family gatherings in cemeteries.

Valentine’s Day was always a favorite. I always loved this day as a child and it was made even more special when I had children of my own. We spent many happy hours together in the kitchen decorating cookies and a heart-shaped cake. This year in Mexico my housemate Omar surprised me with flowers, a balloon and chocolate. Later on I went out for a lovely dinner with my language partner Isaias.

Instead of finding myself in a kitchen preparing family dinners, I now celebrate Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving in different ways depending on where I am and who I am with. Since I left Winnipeg in 2010 I have been in Culiacan, El Fuerte, Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico City and Guadalajara for these holidays and have enjoyed all of them immensely.

This week Canada Day on July 1st was a normal day around here. While I missed the fireworks displays at Assiniboine Park and The Forks in Winnipeg,  I did not miss the mosquitos!

When I lived in Winnipeg, we would often head to Grand Forks or Fargo on July 4th. And three years ago I spent the day in Minneapolis with friends and saw an amazing parade in the morning and an awesome fireworks display at night. This year I attended a July 4th picnic that was most enjoyable, but I do miss the spectacular fireworks I used to see in the USA.

Birthdays here in Mexico are celebrated for more than one day. Parties in the workplace are common. My birthday this year included a dinner with housemates the night before, an afternoon at Mirador and lunch with a friend as well as an evening out with another friend on the actual day, and dinner out with a friend the following day. And at school my students showered me with chocolates and other gifts.

There are also several new dates that are important here in Mexico. September 16th is a Independence Day, and there are lots of fireworks lighting up the sky on that night.

Revolution Day is celebrated on November 20th. Benito Juarez’s birthday on March 21st is a holiday here.  Semana Santa is the week preceding Easter Sunday. April 30th is Children’s Day.

The month of May is filled with even more days and cause for celebrations. May 1st is Labor Day and May 5th is Cinco De Mayo. Mother’s Day is always celebrated on May 10th, no matter what day of the week it falls on. Teacher’s Day is May 15th and Student’s Day is May 23rd.

On July 12th Dia Del Abogado is celebrated. That’s right— a day to honor lawyers! There is also a special day to honor pharmacists as well. However that date escapes me at the moment, and I will have to watch for it on Facebook!

I wonder how many more meaningful dates are coming my way in the future. A year does have 365 days, doesn’t it?

 

 

 

The first time I saw this amazing performance, I was in Teotihuacan, an area near Mexico City best known for the pyramids The Sun and The Moon. We were still in the parking lot and had not even ventured inside the pyramid area when my friends pointed at a tall pole. I looked up and saw five men way up at the top. One man was playing a flute and dancing while the other four were seated around him, meters above the ground.

Suddenly four of them plunged downwards, their feet bound by ropes. Hanging upside-down, they twirled around the pole, going lower and lower as they spun through the air. In less than two minutes they were on the ground, to the delight of the hundreds of spectators in the parking lot.

This ritual has its origins in a religious ceremony, apparently associated with fertility of the earth, with the four men representing the four compass points. When I first saw this spectacle more than a year ago, I never expected to see it again, especially in my own neighborhood.

However, just recently  my friend and I were strolling through the Jardin Hidalgo one night,  when we noticed a tall pole that we had not seen previously on other walks through the garden. We looked up when we heard the flute music. There were the five men on the top of the pole, four of them perched precariously preparing to jump downwards. The entire performance took less than two minutes.

A few days later I was walking through the garden and was able to take a video of this amazing show. The flyers have been performing several times a day for more than two weeks now. No matter how many times I view this, it is always a thrill to see them hanging upside-down by their feet, spiraling downward towards the ground.

And the fee for this spectacular performance? One of the men walks around the park collecting pesos from spectators. It is strictly a free-will offering.  

This fascinating performance by the Valvadores de Papantla is guaranteed to be an incredibly memorable experience for people of all ages.

Although I prefer to be outside in the sunshine, the rainy season is upon us and is relentless, so I have now begun to venture indoors on my excursions.

Hospicio Cabanas was the first treasure I found. In another lifetime this ancient building was an orphanage. I was delighted with the view I found just beyond the entrance.

Next I headed indoors to peruse some art. The murals on the walls and ceiling by Orozco were amazing!

I then headed into one of the smaller galleries to view a collection called  “Amen”  by artist Gaal D. Cohen. This one really spoke to me.

I found this on display in another room.

 

The next museum on my agenda was Museo Regional De Guadalajara. The main floor has several rooms containing artifacts and relics.

I climbed the old stone steps to the second floor and found some awesome art and busts.

Whenever I have ventured into other pueblos in Jalisco, churches have been at the top of my list. So I have decided to start exploring some of these in Guadalajara.

This week I visited Templo De San Jose De Gracia in the Centro Historico.

Although it was late morning, I was surprised to see quite a few people praying. This limited my photo opportunities as I take care not to disturb or offend people when I take pictures inside a church.

Another church I visited was Templo Nuestra Senora Del Carmen, located just off of Pavo on Juarez.

Numerous other churches and museums scattered throughout Guadalajara await my visits. And I have a growing appreciation for the culture and the beauty of this incredibly amazing city in which I now live.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“But Teacher, no intiendo”. This is one of the most common expressions I hear in my classroom. I completely understand their frustration as I am struggling to learn Spanish. “Oso” is a bear. So how can the expression “Que oso” possibly mean I have done something rather ridiculous? 

“Pan comida?” Not really. Learning any new language, especially for an adult, is not easy. But I would like to reflect on some of the more memorable idioms and words that have puzzled  my students here in Mexico.

“Sick and tired” –Now this is an expression that I accidentally  used one day in class when I had taught a grammar point giving numerous explanations and examples, and was totally exasperated as the students just didn’t seem to grasp it. I was immediately bombarded with advice ranging from I should be at home if I’m sick to I should get more sleep so I wouldn’t be tired. 

“broke”–What did you break so that you have no money? One student even stated that it would be hard to break money because pesos are very hard.

“white lie”–If you don’t like your friend’s new sweater, why don’t you just tell them? You shouldn’t lie about anything.

“pretty picture”–Pretty is supposed to mean beautiful, not ugly.

“hit and run”–You crashed the car and drove away in the car, not by walking

“give me a ride” –This constantly baffles students as it doesn’t exist in Spanish.

“skeleton in the closet”–Most of my students do not even know what a closet is. And when I explain it, then they tell me that if it’s for storage, why do you say a skeleton is hidden in the closet. Isn’t that where it should be?

There are numerous idioms involving body parts that students find very confusing.

“bite your tongue” — Teacher, won’t it hurt if I bite my tongue? No, it means that you should not say something rude. Keep the words to yourself.

“break a leg” — One of my students is an actor and a dancer, and was absolutely horrified the first time she heard this expression. Once I explained that this is a way to say “buena suerte” I was rewarded with a big grin.

“get cold feet” — Your feet do not necessarily get cold, but you may be nervous about doing something and feel scared.

“costs an arm and a leg”– Teacher, you don’t buy arms and legs. They are already on your body. You don’t buy them for money. You don’t sell them to buy something.

Then we have some common English expressions that Mexicans use that differ from the meaning a native speaker would expect.

“invite me”–If you want to have coffee together, you should invite me, not ask me. In English we tend to use the word ‘invite’ for occasions such as parties.

“reunion”–This is what a Mexican calls a meeting, whether it’s for coffee or business. My students were rather perplexed when I informed them that in English this means an event where people get together when they haven’t seen each other in a long time.

“in this moment”–I hear this often instead of ‘at this time’ or ‘right now’.

“go walking”– This is commonly used in ‘go walking across the border’. In other words, you cross by land and not by air.

And idioms are only the beginning. We then must consider the grammatical rules and all the exceptions that exist. But that is another post in itself………………

Housemates. Roommates. We’ve all had them over the years. My nuclear family were my first ones, then my spouse and then my children. But I’ve been submerged in a totally new category now. It’s called living with strangers, many of whom have become great friends.

Known here as shared housing, this is basically how I have been living for close to four years now in Mexico. Basically you have your own bedroom in a house, but you share all the common areas with others. For some reason, these are referred to as “apartments” rather than “rooms”.

My first year in Mexico the school found me a home with a single lady in her 60’s. She was a very traditional Mexican lady, what we would call old-fashioned in Canada. Rosamaria also did not speak a word of English and wasn’t interested in learning either. She detested computers and despised the modem that was installed to enable a WiFi connection for me. She complained religiously to the school that I used the air conditioner in my bedroom excessively. But the most distinctive trait was her paranoia. I had to unlock two gates and two doors to gain access to the main house. The laundry area was on the other side of a covered outdoor terrace…….and three more locked doors to deal with. And she insisted that I keep my bedroom door locked at all times, even if I was only steps away in the kitchen or the living room!

My second year in Mexico began in Irapuato. The house itself was comfortable but the housemates left a lot to be desired. Luis was  a young man from England who constantly had his television loudly blaring soccer games. Elizabeth was from South Carolina and sharing a bathroom with her was a challenge as cleanliness and hygiene were seriously lacking from her vocabulary.

I then found myself in Tlaquepaque ( a suburb of Guadalajara) sharing a house with a parade of other teachers when I taught at a language institute that first semester. Maureen was in her 60’s, an alcoholic and we always feared we’d find her at the foot of the stairs one morning with a broken neck. Adam  was an interesting young man from Ireland who unfortunately wound up in jail here and was subsequently fired by the school. Miriam was from Norway, and she still divides her time between the two countries as her boyfriend is Mexican. I always look forward to spending time with her when she is in Mexico. Alfredo was from California and has become a good friend. If you ever need a suitcase packed in a hurry, he is definitely your man!

The next semester began and new housemates arrived. Alan was a young man from Ireland who moonlighted as a dj at a bar. Sharn was from Australia and wound up moving in with a Mexican boyfriend. Brandon was from Wisconsin and we still keep in touch today. He is an avid reader and works in a library back in his hometown.

I returned to Tlaquepaque in the fall after spending several months back in Winnipeg. This time I moved into a house located on Zalatitan that I shared with four others.

Only one of the others was a teacher and that was a former housemate, Adam from Ireland. Lennart was from Sweden and was traveling and learning Spanish. We still keep in touch on Facebook. Joe came from Hawaii and was volunteering his time down here. Joe returned to Guadalajara a while ago and we got together for lunch one day.  Manuel was a Mexican whose family remained in Mexico City although he was working in nearby Tonala, another suburb. When Lennart moved out, Kate moved in. She was a teacher from California. Although she only lived here for a month, we became great friends. I visited her in Puerto Vallarta last spring, and she is now teaching in Colombia.

When Kate moved out, Angela moved in. She was very young, right out of high school in England, and wound up teaching English here. Totally ignorant of grammar, she was unable to differentiate between gerunds and the present continuous tense, confusing her students immensely. Annie was from Oregon and was here for about three weeks. Very young and immature, she drank heavily, passed out in a friend’s car one night and  had to be revived in a shower at another friend’s house.

 I returned to Tlaquepaque via the Baja Norte and Culiacan in November, after spending several months in Winnipeg again. I came home to the house on Zalatitan to find two housemates. Omar was an English teacher from Oregon. We became great friends and I recently went to Tototlan to visit him after he moved away. Stephen was from B.C. and we have known each other for a couple of years now as he comes here to study Spanish for several months of the year. Sean arrived from Colorado and introduced me to the world of blogging on WordPress. Sean and Omar were notorious for blasting a variety of music through the speakers in the living room, and it became all too quiet when they both moved out. Here is a pic taken at Christmas when we all prepared a sumptuous meal together.

Roos spent a month here learning Spanish. She came from the Netherlands and decided to stay in Guadalajara, but moved to another area of the city. Srinath and Michelle came from Montreal for a few days, as did Andres from California. Yves from France was here for two nights. And then Oliver arrived. He was an Asian who had lived in Calgary for three years after leaving China. He gets the award for the strangest person I have ever met in my life, as well as the most despicable. And when it came to the bathroom, he was even worse than Elizabeth in Irapuato had been! The landlord actually had him move to another area of the house so that I would no longer have to share a bathroom with him, and we all breathed a sigh of relief when he left.

At the moment I have only one housemate. Ben is from Ohio and his passion lies in playing poker on the internet. I enjoy having him around and have long forgiven him for using my warm vanilla sugar body wash when he first arrived.

Despite the odd difficult housemate, overall it’s been a fantastic experience. I have met people from all over the world; from different cultures, religions and backgrounds. They often speak other languages and always have many interesting stories to share.

This lifestyle has also provided me with an education one simply cannot get living a traditional (what some people call “normal”)  lifestyle as I did for the first half century of my life.

I enjoy a freedom and independence unlike any I have ever known, and I look forward to many more housemates in the future, wherever in the world I may choose to live.  

 

I’ve been back in Mexico for seven months and it’s June already. The transition between seasons is very different here than in Canada. While my friends up north are enthusiastically digging in their gardens after a never ending winter, I have been enjoying beautiful flowers and delicious local produce year round.

The rainy season has begun and we will now use our umbrellas to protect us from the rain as well as the sun. But our daytime highs continue to be in the low thirties Celsius.

Thursday was my day off and I welcomed the chance to sleep late. I wandered down to the square and sat in the Jardin Hidalgo. This is an excellent place to strike up a conversation with a local and practice my Spanish. And here are some other friends who come to visit regularly, adding to the ambiance of the garden.  

In the evening Rob and I went to Vic’s for dinner. On the weekends, one of my neighbors down the street fires up his grill and cooks delicious hamburgers, hot dogs and other Mexican specialties such as lonches, enchiladas and more .

Friday was another day off and it was an opportunity to do laundry and other tedious household tasks. In the evening I met my language partner Isaias and his nephew David at Jahanve, my favorite coffee shop.

I awoke Saturday morning to a gloomy overcast sky. I taught my first class in the morning and was delighted to see the sun shining brightly by the lunch break.

My Saturday class was a Conversation Club where my students chose interesting and stimulating topics with which to improve both their vocabulary and oral skills. I left school that day with a skip in my step.

My friend Rob picked me up and we headed to Soriana to get some groceries. Back at my house, with the aid of a couple of caguamas, we made a spectacular salad and an incredibly delicious lasagna. As an afterthought I threw together some garlic cheese toast. Apple enchiladas completed our homemade feast. Here is Rob preparing vegetables for the salad.

And then I looked at Facebook. And I could not believe the photo of my daughter in a harness preparing to jump off a 4 story building! 

The next morning when I checked Facebook I found this photo my friend David in Winnipeg had posted.

David had lovingly restored this beauty in 2012 and it was now an Autopac write-off!

Monday dawned early for me, at 5:30 am actually. Shortly thereafter I was off to Zapopan to give my students a grammar exam. Their grades were exceptionally high and I was really pleased.

I then stopped at my neighborhood tienguis to buy some fresh fruit and veggies. I have my favorite vendors who recognize me now. When I first arrived here I had to buy a whole head of cauliflower, and they are huge. I now have my vendor trained. When he sees me he immediately cuts one in half and puts it in a bag for me. My fruit vendor knows that I want  containers with half a pineapple and half a watermelon, freshly cut up. I really feel like a local when I stroll through this street market.

In the afternoon I found myself in Miravalle giving a grammar exam to my other students. Then it was back on the Macrobus and to my house. 

Tuesday was my day off. I slept late and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast at home. Duolingo was on my mind and I spent almost four hours practicing  Spanish on my computer. I totally empathize with my students when it comes to learning grammar in a second language.

I went for a long walk afterwards to clear my head. I did some shopping in the square and then stopped for one of my favorite treats………….a churro with cajeta and azucar.

On Wednesday I was up early again to teach in Zapopan. My students had their oral exam and did exceptionally well again. I am so proud of them!

When I returned home in the afternoon, I spent time chatting with a new housemate before heading out to teach my afternoon classes.

Today is Thursday and once again I have a day off. The morning was spent on learning Spanish and writing. This afternoon I am off   to Cinepolis to see Malefica, in Spanish of course!

 

And another seven days in Mexico has flown by……………

 

 

 

 

Friends often ask me how I decide what to write about in this blog. I once took a course in Creative Writing and our instructor encouraged us to write about issues that were pertinent to our lives. And of course it’s always a good idea to write about topics of which we are knowledgeable. As a writer I am guilty of an overabundance of contemplation which greatly influences my writing. Ideas just seem to come easily and the words flow most of the time, aside from the occasional dreaded writer’s block. 

This blog on WordPress is my first attempt at any type of blog. It’s true that I have published a book previously, and that I am currently editing my second book. But this blog is a place where I can test the waters. I value the feedback I receive from people, and I realize that on occasion I have hit more than one nerve. However this is all a part of learning and growing.

I have written my own personal journals for many years. I often express sentiments in writing that I would never verbalize. Here I not only vent my frustrations, but I also reflect on the many blessings in my life. I do not write every day as that would be forced. I write when I am inspired. It may be a few words or a few pages, but it is me.

Ok, so I don’t sit on top of a doghouse with a typewriter like Snoopy. I prefer to pour my heart out to my laptop. Indeed I encourage everyone to indulge in this exercise. In the game of life,  nothing lasts forever and writing is an excellent tool when dealing with change.

Our lives are complicated journeys where the unexpected often dominates the carefully planned itinerary. This is especially true of my life in recent years.

I  always envisioned my husband and I growing old together and reveling in the accomplishments of our children. I imagined numerous holidays and celebrations spent together as a family. Divorce created an insurmountable roadblock to that plan. But it also cleared the way for the most incredible Plan B.

With an open mind and a renewed zest for life, I embraced the many changes and moved forward. I published my first book, graduated from university and embarked on a new career in a foreign country. The challenges of a different culture and an additional language are both amazing and sightly overwhelming at times. But I have met incredible people and traveled to fascinating places. I am finally truly living life to the fullest.

But most importantly, through these experiences I have rediscovered myself!  Buried for decades within the confines of an unhappy marriage, my confidence has returned with a vengeance along with a sense of self-esteem that has risen to the highest of levels.  A renewed enthusiasm for life has replaced the depression and anxiety that were once so prevalent in my past. 

I cherish the present, and look forward to a spectacular future. Every day brings the promise of an exciting adventure, ensuring that there will always be something to write about ……………………

 

 

 

 

 

Mother’s Day in Mexico is celebrated on May 10th, regardless of the day of the week it falls upon. In Canada Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May. This year Mother’s Day for me was two days in a row this past weekend.

My children are both in their 30’s now (this photo was taken 6 years ago) so we have celebrated many of these days together. I have beautiful memories of cards and gifts they made me. I can still feel the hugs and kisses. They always made me feel special. And I thank God every day for the gift of motherhood, and that I have been blessed with two wonderful children.

Because I live in Mexico, and they live in Canada, we no longer are together on Mother’s Day. The Email and Facebook Messages  I received from them this year brought tears to my eyes. It just doesn’t get any easier over the years and I wonder if we will ever be together again on Mother’s Day.

Last year I was in Winnipeg awaiting surgery on Mother’s Day. Kyle, Krista and I had a fabulous lunch together at Montana’s.

Unfortunately Kimmy was living in Ontario and unable to be with us. The last time I was with both of my children on Mother’s Day was in 2009. Kimmy made a beautiful brunch for me at her home in Oak Bluff.

One Mother’s Day that stands out was May 12th, 1996. This was the last time I was with my mother on this day. She passed away just over a month later.

I remember that day vividly. We had brunch together in my house in Tuxedo. I remember the menu……….mandarin orange almond salad, baked french toast casserole, lemon jello mold and a trifle for dessert. But what I remember most is regretting that we didn’t take any family photos. Instead I carry in my heart the memories of my children, my mother and myself together that one last time.

Day 1 of Mother’s Day this year fell on a Saturday. I taught my class as usual that day, even giving an exam to my class. I’d like to share a Facebook post from one of my students:

 

 

 

I’m not going back. This is the first time in three years that I am not returning to Canada in the spring. I am staying here in Tlaquepaque. I’ve lived in this house longer than anywhere else in Winnipeg in the last five years, and this feels like home now.

 

This is also the first time I have stayed here for Semana Santa. In the past I’ve always been in Culiacan with my family. Instead of going to a Mass at a church, I participated in a Via Crucis in the streets of San Pedro, along with hundreds of others. 

Instead of the usual chocolate eggs and rabbits that are common in Canada, I enjoyed the empanadas offered by the local vendors.

The spring semester began at school, and my students informed me of a number of special days that are celebrated here.

April 30th is Children’s Day. In the elementary schools, parties are held with music, food and special activities.

May 1st is Labor Day here. Government offices, banks and schools are closed.

May 3rd is celebrated by Catholics as Day of the Holy Cross. One block away from my house there was a street fair, complete with music, games, food and fireworks.

Cinco de Mayo surprisingly lacked the festivities that I had envisioned. Schools were closed, but it was a regular work day for everyone else.

Mothers Day in Mexico is celebrated on May 10th regardless of the day of the week it falls upon. May 15th is Teachers Day and classes are cancelled. And May 23rd is Students Day.

With the month of May filled with all these fiestas, I look forward to the summer months here in Guadalajara. I am certain that there will be more special days to come.

And although the rainy season is approaching, the days are mainly still sunny and warm. Spring this year has actually been unseasonably hot.

As I write this, I hear the strains of mariachi music in the distance. Across the street a group of men assemble chairs in their home. Banda music blares from a car radio as one of my neighbors paints his car out on the street. A horse and wagon pass by with a load of tree branches. Children scurry by on their way home from school. Dogs and cats freely meander about. The hours pass by quickly yet time seems to stand still. This is my life in a small town in the midst of a sprawling metropolis.

I’m not going back. I’m staying right here in Tlaquepaque, where smiling faces greet complete strangers with “Buenos dias” , where roosters crow at the crack of dawn, and where birds chirp loudly. Here, even on a cloudy day, the sun shines brightly in my heart, and I am happy.

 

 

I love this quote. We are born into a family by blood, but as we grow we have the opportunity to expand our family to include close friends. As we share life experiences together, our bonds become stronger. And we are closer in so many more ways than we are with our own blood family. Indeed my close friends have become my brothers and sisters, and I am truly blessed to have them all in my life.

My two children are my only close blood family. My other blood family of a sibling and cousins have not been there for me in years. It is my friends who are my constant source of encouragement and support, and I treasure the special relationships that we share.

The past five years have been especially challenging for me. When my marriage ended abruptly, it was my friends who stood by me through an ugly separation and divorce experience. And it was my friends who were awesome when I had two major surgeries in the past two years.

And so I would like to dedicate this post to my family of friends.

In Winnipeg, I have an amazing group of friends. Although I have been living in Mexico for most of the past four years, when I do return to visit they have opened their hearts and homes to me. We still talk on the phone regularly, and it doesn’t feel like we are thousands of miles apart. It’s just so nice to hear that familiar voice and realize that living in the same city is not what counts. What is important is that we are still an important part of each other’s lives.

I have known Audrey, Joan, David, Pauline, Cheyenna and Sheila for over twenty years. Audrey and I met when our children were friends in elementary school. I met David in Edmonton when my daughter was bowling in Nationals. I became friends with Joan and Cheyenna when I took courses at Red River College. Pauline is my daughter’s godmother. Sheila and I met back in junior high school.

Here is a pic taken last summer with Pauline.

I  began attending auctions in 2000, and this is where I met Lise, Rita and Natasha. When I joined the YMCA-YWCA I met Donna, Glenda, Iris and Ethel. Laura and I became friends when I went back to University of Manitoba to get my CTesl. And more recently Alice and Nancy have become good friends.

Donna and I enjoyed our afternoon at the English Gardens last summer.

When I had my first knee replacement surgery, I met Carolyn and Brenda in physiotherapy sessions. Carolyn and I had more than knee surgery in common. We had both been married just shy of 36 years when our marriages ended in divorce.

 I also have two other very special friends in my life. Carole lives in Minneapolis and we have been friends since we were twelve years old. Rochelle lives in Los Angeles and we have known each other since university back in the 1970’s. She was also one of my bridesmaids when I got married.

Here is a pic when I visited Rochelle in Los Angeles.

 Last summer I returned to Winnipeg for a second round of surgery. I have Karen and Chad to thank for providing me with the most awesome home that made such a difference in my recovery time. I also really enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with them in Warren. Here is a photo of their son Josh with Aunt Mabel (100 years young!) at that dinner.

I now live in Mexico where I have no blood family at all. And I am far away from my children and my family of friends in Winnipeg. But I have expanded the circle of friends whom I now consider to be part of my chosen family.

There is one very special family in Culiacan who are very dear to my heart. 

Juan and I taught together at Instituto Senda del Rio. Our friendship began with his helping me with Spanish and my helping him with English. His wife Lucila would pick him up from school at the end of the day, and they insisted on driving me home as well as the days became hotter in the spring. They would often take me out for raspados or to parks or to Forum. Their son Juan Carlos was a toddler and soooooo adorable! (And he still is!)

On Mother’s Day Lucila made me a bracelet which I treasure. And on my birthday we all went out to a wonderful Chinese restaurant to celebrate.

 I no longer live in Culiacan, but I do visit my family there regularly. Juan Carlos now has a brother and I have two “nietos” to enjoy.

Whenever I visit Culiacan, all of Juan and Lucila’s family are very welcoming. I have gone to several family celebrations with them. This photo was taken at one of the birthday parties.

Another close friend in Culiacan is Juan Pablo. One of the rare English speakers I met there, our adventures included everything from going to the beach to cruising Juarez to find the best rates on currency exchange. This photo was taken on my most recent visit to Culiacan in November.

When I lived in Culiacan, I went to Los Mochis on a holiday and went to the Copper Canyon by train. This was where I met Angie and her family. Angie lives in Jiminez and her children live in Mexico City, but we kept in touch by email and Facebook. Last year I spent New Years with Angie and her family. I stayed at her son Ventura’s home, and we really had a wonderful reunion.

 

Here is a pic of my friend Pilar, a colleague when I taught for a brief period in Irapuato. Pilar’s mother went out of her way to drive me to church on Sundays, and always made me feel welcome in her home.

 

Another friend whose family have embraced me is my language partner Isaias. I have spent the past two Christmas Eves with them and have also been invited to other family celebrations. 

Two years ago when I needed my FM3 renewed, I was told by the director of my school to go to Otro Nivel and speak to the lead singer in the band. Not only is German an excellent immigration lawyer, but he has also become a great friend. And I enjoy listening to the Barbershop Rock Band perform here in Tlaquepaque.

Claudia lives here in Guadalajara and her mom has this fabulous coffee shop called Jahanve that I frequent.

Luke is an American who is married to a Mexican here. I first met Luke just over two years ago when we taught together at a language institute.

For the past two plus years I have been in Tlaquepaque, I have taught with many teachers and have lived with many housemates from all over the world. Because we are all foreigners and many of us are transients, we become like family as well. This year on Christmas Day, my housemates and I cooked a fabulous Christmas dinner together.

Sean has gone back to the USA and Omar has moved elsewhere in Mexico, but we still keep in touch. Stephen and I have known each other for more than two years now, and he has just returned to Canada.

Mike and I met in a Spanish class last winter. He returned to Mexico on a holiday this month and we enjoyed catching up over a lovely dinner at Italianni’s.

 

Many of us who taught together here in Mexico still keep in touch on Facebook and by email. It’s quite interesting to see what everyone has been doing since they left Guadalajara. Some of us return and it’s always great to see each other again.

Here is my friend Miriam from Norway who divides her time between the two countries.

 

Brandon is from Wisconsin. An avid reader, we taught together at a language institute a couple of years ago. He is back in the USA now, although he has been back recently o visit Mexico.

Alfredo is from California and we also taught together here in Tlaquepaque. And if you ever need a suitcase packed quickly and efficiently, he is definitely your man.

And then there is my friend Kate from California. We were housemates for about one month last winter, but we became very close. Kate is an amazing woman with an incredible zest for life. She not only has encouraged me in my writing, but she has also opened my eyes to envision an exciting future in my own life. Kate is now following her dream of volunteer teaching in Colombia.  I know she will have an awesome impact on those students’ lives.

I also have my church family at La Casa del Alfarero. It is difficult to find an Evangelist church here in Mexico where Catholicism  is the dominant religion. And I am very thankful that not only was I able to find a church, but it is only four blocks from my house. Below is a photo of my friend Chelo, also the pastor’s wife.

 

And I have a third group of friends whom I include in my family. These are all my Facebook friends. I’d like to share a post one of my friends in Huntsville, Alabama shared on his wall. Bill and I have never met in person, but our friendship has grown as we regularly acknowledge each other’s life experiences.

I really value everyone’s friendship and I love you all!

My own children continue to live in Canada, in cities where they have no blood family in their lives. My son is in Manitoba and my daughter is in Ontario. We all live thousands of miles apart and our correspondence is limited to the odd phone call, text or message. I miss the relationship we once had when we all lived in the same city, and I treasure the memories I have in my heart. But I am confident that I have instilled upon my children the value of cultivating close friendships, so that they too have created and expanded their own family of friends.