The main character in my book is the master of this. He thrives on attention-seeking behavior. He doesn’t assume responsibility for his actions. He always blames someone else when things get screwed up. After all, that’s easiest, isn’t it? And the more he does it, the more comfortable he feels about it. Even though it usually all blows up in his face, that still doesn’t stop him.
Of course this got me thinking about my own life. It’s really easy to step into that victim mentality. I think we all do it from time to time. I know I have. The big problem arises when we make a habit of doing it and it then becomes the norm. We get stuck and somehow it just feels too comfortable and we don’t even attempt to get out.
As adults it’s easy to blame parents for the mess in our lives. My character is really great at doing this. He’s been doing it since he was a teenager. My character is also struggling with mental health issues. So when he doesn’t play the blame the parents card, he blames the mental health issues when there are behavior problems. He has this all perfected by the time he becomes an adult.
We all face challenges in life, mental and physical. Playing the victim results in hearts filled with anger and bitterness. I’d rather have a heart filled with peace and tranquility. Wouldn’t you?
I’m often asked why I write. There is no simple answer to that. I enjoy writing. I never had the time to write before. I can choose the topic unlike when I was back in school in English class. I don’t have to count words although I do have to be cautious when it comes to spelling and grammar. I’m retired so I can write at any time I want, day or night. I choose the background music, something I never got to do back in school either. But mostly, I find writing relaxing, almost a meditation.
Writing is challenging. Although I’m currently writing fiction, I’ve still had to do considerable research along the way. While the story primarily takes place in some small, fictitious town in California, my main character is struggling with a health issue. And that requires research. And then there are issues in the legal system that need to be considered. These tend to vary from state to state. Of course I’m drawing on psychology when it comes to family dynamics and resolving conflict.
There are days when my characters don’t talk to me. That is quite discouraging. I’ve had days where I’ve totally erased every single word I’ve written. And yes I still find that relaxing as well as frustrating. After all, the reality is that life is like that. The road is not a straight one and it’s often necessary to meander here and there. So why shouldn’t writing be like that?
Why do I write a blog? That started when I was living in Guadalajara years ago. I was sharing a house with two guys who were computer geeks. One was a web designer and the other was running a business in the USA while living in Mexico. They got me going on WordPress. At first it was mainly to let my friends back home know what I was up to. And I must admit that I could be doing a lot more on this site. But I’m content with what I’m currently doing. It serves the purpose. And I’m flattered that I now have followers from all over the world.
However there are always things I will not write about. I tend to shy away from religion and politics. These are very controversial topics and I don’t want to offend my readers. I also have friends who tell me things in confidence. While these would make great material for blog posts, it’s not my story to tell.
I have my own story to tell. I’m not as forthcoming as some writers about my more personal life. My reasons for that have changed over the years. There are details that I care to share only with my closest friends. That may change someday, but write now I’m comfortable with the way it is. And I respect and admire writers who are able to put everything out there for everyone in the world to read. I have writer friends in Missouri and Illinois who bravely do this and I always look forward to their blog posts.
Remembering you today as always, Koal. I can’t believe it’s fourteen years since you left us. Sending lots of love to doggie heaven.