Tag Archives: divorce

Aug29

Not So Typical

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Not So Typical

While this past week has been a busy one, it has also been not so typical. But I’ll start with the weather. Way too hot and way too muggy. It started early this year and looks like it’s still going to be around for a while. No rain in sight, not around here. But last night there were quite a few lightning strikes in other parts of the state that triggered wildfires.

The USA had issued a Level 4 Do Not Travel advisory a couple of weeks ago to certain states in Mexico, one of them being Sinaloa. It looks like this will be the second winter in a row that I will be unable to visit with my Mexican family in Culiacan due to all the cartel activity and violence. And I fear for the safety of my five nietos.

Here in Washington I met a woman when I was doing volunteer work. She is currently going through an ugly divorce and has decided to change her name. Okay, I get that. Once I’m legally divorced I also might do that. But I doubt that I’d turn it into a three day reclaiming celebration involving wineries and parties. And there’s also the matter of the invitation to attend the official hearing at the Court House in Wenatchee. Nope. That’s a little too bizarre, even for me.

Last night I heard from a long lost friend in Mazatlan asking me to transfer money to her Mexican bank account. When I lived in Mazatlan I had helped her out before with a few pesos from time to time. After all, we used to bake some awesome brownies together back then.

Here’s another not so typical. Linda and I went to Costco earlier in the week and I didn’t buy a single thing. No groceries. No clothes. Not even a hot dog. Very unusual.

I was sitting sipping coffee out on the patio at Weeds in Cashmere yesterday when I struck up a conversation with two women from Quincy. They had a beautiful, exceptionally well-behaved dog with them. I’d love to have a dog again. But then there is the matter of my constant travels between countries that pretty much rules out pet ownership.

The other day I went out to Lake Chelan with a friend from my writing group. Donna had grown up there decades ago and it was interesting seeing this area through her eyes. So many changes. Buildings torn down. High volume of tourist traffic. A street of condominiums where her grandparents’ house had once stood. Her childhood home gone. A very different view from the Lake Chelan that I’ve come to know in the past few years.

And now it’s Friday. I wonder if this will be a not so typical weekend too.

Jul21

You’re Never There

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You’re Never There

I disagree. I can’t say I’m never there, but I definitely can say that I’m seldom there. And just where is there? Why, it’s Facebook of course!

Just why am I seldom there? Because life is to be lived. That means up front and personal. That means interacting with other people. It doesn’t mean staring at a screen on my phone or on my laptop all day. That isn’t living.

Basically, I share my WordPress blog on Facebook. I belong to three writers groups on Facebook which I don’t always check out as often as I would like to. I’ve learned a lot about writing and publishing from these groups. As I’ve said many times before, send me a private message if you want me to be aware of something important going on in your life. With hundreds of friends on Facebook, I don’t have time to waste scrolling and sifting through far too many shared posts every day to find the ones that may truly be worth reading.

Occasionally I read posts on Facebook from a group called If You Grew Up In Winnipeg. There are two types of people who post here…those who still live there and haven’t experienced life outside of Winnipeg and those that have escaped Winnipeg when they have discovered the adventures that can be found elsewhere. However I must admit that I do find some of the photos quite interesting.

I had a stimulating conversation with a friend in Winnipeg last night. We’re both divorced, have adult children and grandchildren. We both concluded that our lives have not turned out the way we envisioned them years ago. But we do find our lives challenging as well as fulfilling.

And I wholeheartedly continue to embrace this philosophy…………………. First Coffee, Now What?

And you?

Jul29

The Choice

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The Choice

Occasionally I read a book in English when I’m in Mexico. Today I finished The Choice by Nicholas Sparks. This isn’t the first time I’ve read it. It’s just the type of story I enjoy reading more than once.

It never ceases to amaze me just how strong the love is between Travis and Gabby. I marvel at how a man can be so dedicated and passionate. I know that was never the experience I had in my marriage, although I have found it since in subsequent relationships.

I wonder if there is a genetic link out there that makes some men more inclined to feel and express love. It can’t all be learned behavior from our upbringing.

I’ve actually had conversations on this topic with both female and male friends. I’ve observed that while females appear to be more emotionally definitive, males seem to be more on the defensive side.

Then there is the idea of love turned inward resulting in narcissism. There is a strong correlation here with environment, suggesting that this type of love is a learned behavior.

Unfortunately we don’t recognize narcissism in our partners until the relationship ends, despite the persistent attempts by therapists over the years to open our eyes to this toxicity in our lives.

I’d like to think that the love story about Travis and Gabby is not unique. But it’s hard to believe that in view of the high incidence of divorce in today’s world, or in viewing the number of couples who stay together for financial reasons and are bitterly unhappy. I think that number has overtaken the one for couples who remain together for the sake of the children, another fallacy in parenting.

It was nice to escape to the world of Travis and Gabby, even for a short time. I highly recommend this book if you haven’t yet read it. Or if you have read it, you should read it again.