Tag Archives: children

Beam Me Back

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Beam Me Back

My childhood was in the fifties and my teenage years in the sixties. I never thought about it back then but when I look back at it today……….”Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end,” sang Mary Hopkin. But those days did end. I look around me and can’t believe what I see today.

We can’t blame everything on the availability of technology, although many would prefer to do so. Kids today aren’t nearly as carefree as we were back then. Fire drills have been replaced by other drills in the classroom; drills that were unimaginable when I was young.

My own kids came along in the eighties. At a very young age they were playing games like “Don’t talk to Strangers,” not Cowboys and Indians. They learned to decode alarm systems instead of coming home to unlocked doors after school. The internet was at their fingertips to read about war and violence. As a child I wasn’t even allowed to watch the 11 o’clock news as my parents thought it might give me nightmares.

Today it’s worse. Here in the Wenatchee Valley crime rates are higher than the national average. We are all still reeling from the tragic death of three sisters at the hands of their murderous father. And he is still at large. This is something that should be reserved for a Lifetime movie. It shouldn’t be happening in real life in our own backyard.

As a child, we played outside with friends until the streetlights came on. Neighbors looked out for each other and someone was always checking up on the kids, whoever’s house they happened to be playing at. The front porch was a popular place to sit. Today people back out of their garages and don’t even know their neighbors. Backyard decks allow for even more privacy; or is it seclusion?

Hitchhike? Accept a ride from a stranger while waiting at a bus stop? Unheard of today. I wouldn’t even want my child to use public transit so those options are definitely eliminated. The term “helicopter parent” would absolutely apply to me. And that isn’t good parenting either. Kids have to learn to make choices, preferably good ones. And they don’t have the opportunity to do that if they’re overprotected.

And then there’s the opposite. There are the kids who have too much freedom, the kids whose parents are too wrapped up in themselves to notice the warning signs that their kids are struggling and getting into trouble. And when they finally do notice a problem, the blame is more often than not put on the teacher or the coach instead of the parent.

Dick, Jane and Sally. Spot and Puff. Where have you gone?

Hug Your Kids Tight

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Hug Your Kids Tight

Last week a horrendous event occurred here in the Wenatchee Valley. It wasn’t an accident. It was cold-blooded murder. While I don’t personally know the family involved, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by this senseless tragedy. Actually a myriad of feelings fill my head. Frustration that an amber alert hadn’t been called immediately when a distraught mother reported that her ex-husband hadn’t returned her three daughters after a custodial visit. Anger that the father had done the unimaginable. He had murdered his three daughters. Compassion for the mother deprived of the opportunity to watch her children grow up, sharing in their joys and sorrows. And fear because this dangerous man is still at large.

While today more than ever people are encouraged to seek professional help when mental health issues arise, they are often reluctant to do so. Sadly sometimes the resources are not always readily available. There is also the danger of a misdiagnosis and inappropriate treatment. The system definitely has its flaws.

Wild speculations about the circumstances that led to this horrific event fill Facebook, fueled by the fact that the father was a veteran who had served in the military. This isn’t a time for Facebook gossip. This isn’t an internet soap opera. This is real life involving real people.

Instead, this is a time for prayer; for the mother, the three little angels now in heaven, and even the father.

So How Was Your Childhood?

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So How Was Your Childhood?

As I lazily sipped coffee and checked my emails in bed this morning, the TV was on in the background. But instead of a movie in Spanish, the channel was INSP and the show was an old western. My favorites to watch include The Rifleman, High Chapparal and Gunsmoke. And they bring back memories of my childhood; the days when we only had three channels and no cable.

As an adult, it’s a mystery to me why my parents allowed me to watch these violent shows where people were always being shot, killed or scalped yet viewing a newscast was forbidden. After all, the daily news might somehow cause me to have nightmares. At least that’s what they told me.

I had a cap gun. I can still feel it in my hand and I can still smell it after it went off. As kids, we always played Cowboys and Indians. One of my friends actually had a toy bow and arrow, so being an Indian wasn’t all that bad. But the good guys were always the Cowboys and the bad guys were always the Indians. And my skills with that cap gun were far superior to those with a bow and arrow.

I also had water pistols. I mean, you could still always yell “Bang! Bang! You’re Dead!” using those instead of cap guns.

Flash ahead to when my kids came along. Their water pistols looked like animals, not guns. And I never allowed them to have any kind of toy gun. But I did let them watch the newscasts on TV. And I’m certain I let them watch more than a few TV shows and movies that were probably quite inappropriate for their age. And they seemed to have turned out okay. They aren’t serial killers or criminals.

But growing up in the 50s was a lot more “wholesome” than being a child in the 80s. It was safe to play outside until the streetlights came on. Everyone knew their neighbors. We had front porches not decks in the backyard. We didn’t have attached garages so we actually interacted with our neighbors. We never locked our doors in the 50s. My kids learned how to arm and disarm an alarm system.

We’re in the 2020s now. Kids have drills informing them what to do if there is a shooter in the school. And I thought fire drills were scary enough!

I wonder if someday my kids might look back and ponder about their childhood compared with their kids’ childhood.

So how was your childhood?

Emotional March

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Emotional March

The month of March has been all about emotion. First there is the course I’m taking from Yale University that deals with emotions. And then this morning I was on a Zoom meeting with Authors Publish with a speaker talking about expressing the emotions of our protagonist. It’s all been very moving.

I know that I get caught up in the emotions of my characters. I laugh with them and I cry with them. And that is the goal for my readers. I want them to feel these emotions as they read my books.

I occasionally read books and emotions come out that I don’t really want to feel. Sometimes they are triggered by memories that are best left in the past. After all, I have already dealt with them. Or have I? Then why am I so uncomfortable reading some of these books? Maybe there’s still work to be done.

Emotions and behavior modelled by parents and teachers in our childhood have a strong influence in the way we conduct our own lives as adults, especially when we find ourselves in difficult situations when it comes to resolving conflict. These then have a great influence on our own children, or on our students if we are educators.

Think about that for a moment. Teachers spend a lot more time with children than parents do. Subsequently our biases are often passed on, often subconsciously. It can be confusing for children to choose as some of these values may be in direct conflict from those expressed by their parents. And to make matters even more complicated, children themselves may have very different ideas.

One of the writing prompts I came across recently posed this question: “Who was the one teacher that made the biggest impression in your life?” I thought about that one long and hard, because the one teacher I had in mind was not only a horrible teacher but was also a lousy guidance counselor. Back in tenth grade he told me to switch from the university entrance program to the business education program. How encouraging! Despite the fact that I skipped classes and often ignored homework assignments, my grades were high. And of course that annoyed him even more. In this case, my confusion back in high school resulted in anger and frustration. His advice resonated throughout my college years where I continued to skip classes but still maintained a high grade point average.

As an adult today I’ve let go of the anger. However I feel strongly that this particular teacher had no place being in a classroom and should never have been a guidance counselor either. I wonder what unresolved issues he had in his own life that caused him to have such a strong negative influence on not only myself, but other students as well. And as a teacher myself, I do my best to understand why students exhibit certain behaviors. Only then can I best help them.

I’m glad I didn’t switch programs back in high school. I have attended universities in Canada and in Mexico. I have earned accreditations in psychology, sociology, counseling, education and yes, even in business administration. These have enabled me to live in different countries, to meet fascinating people and to have amazing adventures.

My advice – Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. They will lead you on an exciting journey through life.

Different Things

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Different Things

I slept in this morning. My first cup of coffee was at eleven. Breakfast was pasta alfredo at about 1 pm. It’s humpday and it’s one of those days.

Today I read a blog post written by a friend in Missouri. It began by mentioning memoirs, evolved into family life, and from there went on to a craft project. Despite the fact that the rain exacerbates her knee and back pain, she always plows her way through to finding something positive. You are an inspiration to all of us, Ty. Thank you.

Sea snakes are harassing beachgoers in Puerto Vallarta. These poisonous creatures are dangerous. It used to be just the tides we had to watch out for. And I guess we can throw the jellyfish in with that too. I detest snakes so won’t be going to Puerto Vallarta anytime soon.

Time to embarrass one of my kids. My daughter just competed in the CPU Nationals (Canadian Powerlifting) and qualified for Internationals. She is off to Panama in October to compete. It’s exciting that I get to watch her live online. It’s almost like being there.

I found a great dentist here in Aguascalientes. His office is only a five minute walk from my house. A visit to the dentist isn’t one of my favorite pastimes, but he was excellent and I actually felt quite relaxed. I’ve even forgiven him for the white diet he put me on after the whitening process.

I won’t comment on Trump’s speech last night. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’m not interested in sparring with friends who are staunch Democrats and friends who are staunch Republicans. We’ll just have to wait and see how everything turns out.

I just signed up for a virtual program with NCW Libraries. This one is being presented as a part of Women’s History Month and deals with homelessness.

I’ve started to think about returning to Washington in May but, as usual, am procrastinating the arduous task of booking flights.

Have a great afternoon!

Plans For A Crazy Day

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Plans For A Crazy Day

Today is one of those crazy days. My mind keeps wandering as I’m trying to focus on my writing. I’m working on the Epilogue now. And things haven’t exactly turned out the way I’d anticipated when I’d first started writing this book. And that’s okay. Plans don’t always work out.

Plans. My thoughts drift to the sermon the pastor gave last Sunday. It was all about plans and God’s plans for us. And I sometimes wonder about that. Why did I wind up in Aguascalientes? No ocean here. I don’t hang out with gringos. The art galleries and museums are nothing compared with those in Guadalajara. And then there’s Washington state. I keep being drawn back there. The lure of the mountains and life in the USA.

Yes. Life in the USA. I grew up hearing about how we were so lucky to be living in Canada. Such a great country. The way things are going right now, I don’t think it’s such a great country. Despite the political divide, I prefer my life in the USA. The big drawback to me is that my kids still live in Canada and don’t want to visit me in Washington or Mexico.

Back to plans. My TV has been doing weird things like freezing and no volume and no nothing today. So there goes that plan of watching a movie in Spanish in an attempt to improve my skills in that language. But I have been doing some texting in Spanish today so that helps.

Speaking of today, I had planned on going to the tianguis on my street today. But it’s almost 2:30 and I’ve missed it once again. Oh well, there’s always next week. And I really should take some pics.

Pics. I’m slowly but surely organizing all the pics I scanned when I was in Winnipeg last summer. My son has promised to send me a link so that I can share a few thousand with him.

My son. The other night I missed a video call from my daughter in Kelowna as I was doing a course online at that time. When I called her back, to my surprise my son and his girlfriend were there visiting from Winnipeg. My kids don’t exactly keep me updated on their travels. But it was so great to do a video call and see them all together. Only wish I could’ve been there with them.

Of course that was another long ago plan that never happened. My kids and I all living in the same city and seeing each other all the time. That was the way I grew up. But someone up above had a different plan for me.

Back to my plan for today. Back to my Epilogue. And I’m listening to The Rolling Stones in the background.

What’s your plan for today? And how is it working out for you?

Libraries Are More Than Books

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Libraries Are More Than Books

I’ve been at the library in Cashmere twice this week; Wednesday was for an adult program and Thursday was for a children’s program.

I’ve never considered myself to be artistic. At school I always opted for music rather than art classes. As an adult I’ve never gone to a sip and paint. But back in 2016 when I first came to Leavenworth, I’ve progressed from adult coloring books to more challenging types of art. I’ve painted with watercolors and acrylics. I’ve played with pastels. And on Wednesday I painted a waterfall scene. And it actually turned out well and it is going to be prominently displayed on a shelf in my room.

On Thursday there was an end of summer party for all the kids signed up in the summer reading program. There were a variety of crafts available ranging from decorating book bags to making chimes with beads. At my table, I helped kids make shiny pinwheels and color designs to personalize a puzzle. I really enjoyed volunteering at this event.

When I was a child, a library was merely a place to take out books. When I had children, there were a handful of programs available. Sadly, the library in Winnipeg where I went to as a child, (also the one my children went to) is now closed, a victim of downloading books on the internet.

But the library in Cashmere is alive and thriving. Plans are underway for an expansion and a move to a new facility. How exciting!

How do you read books? Do you read them online? Do you listen to them while driving? E Books and audio books have become quite popular. Personally, I love the feel of actually holding a book in my hands.

On that note, I’m off to read a book in preparation for our monthly book club meeting.

Seventeen Hours

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Seventeen Hours

That’s how long it took me to get from Winnipeg to East Wenatchee last week. Commute to Winnipeg airport, go through TSA, go through Customs, flight to Minneapolis, layover, flight to Seattle, shuttle to Wenatchee, commute to East Wenatchee. Needless to say I slept almost twenty-four hours once I arrived back home.

It’s great to be back. I’ve missed my friends. I’ve missed the mountains. I’ve missed the sunshine.

What I don’t miss is barricading myself in a tiny room and staring at a computer screen as I scanned thousands of photos. I used to jokingly tell my friends that all I left behind in Winnipeg was my son and bins of photo albums. I can now honestly say that all I’ve left behind is my son. The photos are all digitalized. My childhood photos I gave to my brother. The rest of the photos and framed photos are history.

This was a tedious task and it was also emotionally draining. It took twice as long as I thought it would. I’m glad it’s done. Why didn’t we have cellphones with cameras decades ago? This generation has it easy.

I’ll miss my friends in Winnipeg, St. Norbert and Oak Bluff. We had some great times together while I was visiting. We enjoyed stimulating conversations, shared meals, watched movies and did some traveling. I’ll miss you Donna, Loris, Rita, Doug, Audrey, Sheila, Laura, Jacque, Marilyn, Kathy and David. I also enjoyed spending time with my brother.

The moments I treasure most are those with my son, Kyle. I was truly blessed to be with him both on Mother’s Day and on my birthday in May. That hasn’t happened in several years. He also took the time out of his busy schedule to set up a meeting with his attorney so that I could deal with some legal issues. I’m so very proud of Kyle and all of his accomplishments throughout the years. He has come a long way from the photos I scanned of him as a baby and as a child. But it gets harder and harder to say goodbye when it’s time for me to leave again. It’s painful when a mother and her child are separated for such long periods of time.

And now it’s back to life in Washington. Tomorrow I will be volunteering at Founders Day in Cashmere.

Enjoy the weekend!

A Glimpse of the Light

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A Glimpse of the Light

I’m beginning to see a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. After scanning photos for a month, I’m actually getting close to the end. Of course there are two bins still at my son’s and I haven’t a clue as to what’s in them. But I believe the majority of the bigger albums are almost done.

This morning I was at Kyle’s first day of kindergarten, Kimmy’s first haircut, Kyle’s fifth birthday party at the bowling alley and a vacation in San Diego. I’m not doing the albums in any type of chronological order so it’s been fun to skip around and see my kids at different ages.

And of course there are the pet albums. Kelsey and Koal had no idea that they were dogs. They were kids just like Kyle and Kimmy. Kelsey was around for a few years before Kyle was born. My kids had labelled him the geriatric dog. After he went to doggy heaven we got Koal. And he was quite a mischievous puppy and very different from Kelsey.

I really miss having a dog. But it’s bad enough that I have to deal with three different immigrations every year. I cannot fathom having to do that with a dog when constantly travelling from country to country. But if I ever do settle down, I would love to have a dog again.

In a way it’s been good that the weather has been so bad since I got to Winnipeg. When it rains every day I don’t feel so badly about holing up inside and going through photos. But I must admit that I miss that big, bright yellow ball that should be up in the sky instead of the ominous clouds.

And I’m still hoping for an ETA in Washington of mid-June.

On To Plan B

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On To Plan B

When Plan A doesn’t work there’s always a Plan B. Plan A was working. I arrived in Winnipeg last Thursday and Laura came with me to buy a scanner on Friday. On Monday she came over and set it up and gave me a crash course in how to use it. But Plan A was already off-track as I hadn’t connected with my son and he’s been storing the photo albums. So this week has gone by and I haven’t had any photos to scan yet.

Plan B in action and I am taking the week to see friends instead. And as I visit with my friends I’m going through different chapters in my life.

Rita. We met at an auction back in 2000. We’ve gone through divorces and our kids’ marriages and a whole lot more. Before Rita sold her cabin at Hillside, I always went out there with her when I came back to Winnipeg in the summer, even after the knee surgeries. It was fun maneuvering my walker and much easier when I graduated to a cane. There were steps involved in getting up on the deck and into the cabin. This year Rita picked me up at the airport and we went straight to VJ’s for gut bombs. It was pouring rain but that didn’t stop us.

Laura. My computer guru. We met in college when I was getting my ESL certification back in 2009. She was very pregnant and her baby arrived late so she was able to write the final exams and graduate. Although I moved away in 2010 we’ve kept in touch and get together whenever I come back. She shops around for computers and whatever other technological devices I require. Then when I get to Winnipeg we get together and I buy what she has picked out. They must love us at Best Buy. Whenever the sales person asks a question I refer them to Laura. I only need to be there to tap the credit card.

Sheila. We met back in middle school and have been friends for sixty years. Yep. We’ve gone through a lot together. When we get together it’s like we’ve never been apart as we catch up on kids and grandkids. Sheila doesn’t enjoy traveling and admitted to me that she hasn’t been on a plane in nine years. That’s very different from my nomadic lifestyle. I’ve been on four planes in just the last month.

Jacque. Our kids were in the same pre-school program when we met back in 1983. Jacque was also a caterer and has shared several wonderful recipes with me, the most requested one being the peanut butter cheesecake. Our kids all went to different schools throughout the years but Jacque and I remained in touch. She moved back home to Rochester, Minnesota for a while but returned to Winnipeg a few years ago. I was already well into my nomadic lifestyle but we always get together when I come back for a visit.

Donna. In another lifetime I taught water aerobics at the YMCA in Westwood and Donna was in my class. We also share a love of music and have gone to concerts together. Donna’s husband makes amazing wine which I always enjoy when I go over there. When I was here last summer we spent a memorable afternoon at The Leaf. We were talking at lunch the other day about maybe going to the Museum of Human Rights this year.

Marilyn. After my knee surgery I went to physio at Concordia where I met Marilyn. This awesome physical therapist is one of the reasons I bounced back as quickly as I did from those surgeries. She’s retired now and travels to New Zealand to see her daughter quite often. Over lunch today we talked a lot about Mexico and she’s thinking of coming this winter.

On Sunday I will finally get to see my son and I hope I will get those photo albums so I can start scanning. It will be nice to be with my son on Mother’s Day. We haven’t done that in several years.

Today is May 10 and it’s Mother’s Day in Mexico. It’s been a while since I’ve been in that country for Mother’s Day too.

To all the mothers out there, whether you celebrate today or on Sunday, Happy Mother’s Day!