Tag Archives: childhood

So How Was Your Childhood?

Standard
So How Was Your Childhood?

As I lazily sipped coffee and checked my emails in bed this morning, the TV was on in the background. But instead of a movie in Spanish, the channel was INSP and the show was an old western. My favorites to watch include The Rifleman, High Chapparal and Gunsmoke. And they bring back memories of my childhood; the days when we only had three channels and no cable.

As an adult, it’s a mystery to me why my parents allowed me to watch these violent shows where people were always being shot, killed or scalped yet viewing a newscast was forbidden. After all, the daily news might somehow cause me to have nightmares. At least that’s what they told me.

I had a cap gun. I can still feel it in my hand and I can still smell it after it went off. As kids, we always played Cowboys and Indians. One of my friends actually had a toy bow and arrow, so being an Indian wasn’t all that bad. But the good guys were always the Cowboys and the bad guys were always the Indians. And my skills with that cap gun were far superior to those with a bow and arrow.

I also had water pistols. I mean, you could still always yell “Bang! Bang! You’re Dead!” using those instead of cap guns.

Flash ahead to when my kids came along. Their water pistols looked like animals, not guns. And I never allowed them to have any kind of toy gun. But I did let them watch the newscasts on TV. And I’m certain I let them watch more than a few TV shows and movies that were probably quite inappropriate for their age. And they seemed to have turned out okay. They aren’t serial killers or criminals.

But growing up in the 50s was a lot more “wholesome” than being a child in the 80s. It was safe to play outside until the streetlights came on. Everyone knew their neighbors. We had front porches not decks in the backyard. We didn’t have attached garages so we actually interacted with our neighbors. We never locked our doors in the 50s. My kids learned how to arm and disarm an alarm system.

We’re in the 2020s now. Kids have drills informing them what to do if there is a shooter in the school. And I thought fire drills were scary enough!

I wonder if someday my kids might look back and ponder about their childhood compared with their kids’ childhood.

So how was your childhood?

Desperate Housewives

Standard
Desperate Housewives

When I come up to Washington each spring, one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV in English. In Mexico I make a point of watching in Spanish. I also find myself binge watching certain series with my friend Linda. Seeing as there has been no Virgin River or Lincoln Lawyer this year, we’ve watched Eric and My So Called Life.

I’m also watching one series on my own. Desperate Housewives brings back a lot of memories when on Sunday nights my kids and I used to watch it together. Once I moved to Mexico I never did catch up on the remaining seasons so I decided to do that now.

I’m in Season 7 now. This morning’s episode was when Gabrielle confronted her past. At first she fought the therapy sessions. But then she realized that the only way to move on with her life was to deal with the demons in her past. The big one was sexual abuse by her stepfather.

And that brought me back to my counseling days. One of the first people I ever counseled was a young woman dealing with sexual abuse. It took her years to finally be brave enough to come forward and admit the abuse. And as a counselor, I’m certain that I was only the first of professionals to come who would help her along the journey to healing.

In the very first counseling class I ever took, our instructor gave us a rather interesting first assignment. We were told to find a therapist; the idea being that if we had never been on the client side of that desk then we would never succeed on the counselor side. By a show of hands, I also recall that in that classroom of more than twenty students, only three of us admitted that we had previously been in therapy. Also noteworthy is that the following week, the class had greatly diminished in size. While there were more than three students, there were far fewer than twenty.

Back to Desperate Housewives and Gabrielle. This episode got me thinking of my own past. No. I never experienced sexual abuse. But I have sat on the client side of that desk and I know how difficult it is to look back at your childhood and realize that it was far from idyllic. Truthfully, the presence of both a mother and a father in the home does not necessarily make a family functional; indeed it can be quite the opposite.

I may be retired but I can still offer advice. Be open to suggestions. Embrace change. Take risks. We only get one crazy ride on the roller coaster of life.

Read Listen Watch

Standard
Read Listen Watch

It’s been an interesting week. The war is raging on in the Middle East and there’s lots of coverage in American politics, especially when it comes to Trump. Needless to say I’ve been reading, viewing videos and listening to podcasts.

Yesterday I took a break from all this and went on to YouTube to get my mind off all the craziness in our world. I found a delightful movie that brought back treasured childhood memories.

The movie was Heidi. It was the original film produced in 1937. It was also in black and white and starred Shirley Temple.

For a magical 90 minutes I was transported back in time. Back when children were children. When a snow globe was more fascinating than a videogame. When girls treasured porcelain dolls instead of hyped Barbies.

I admit that I do prefer jeans to dresses but I do remember a time when my mom and I would go downtown on a Saturday and dresses were obligatory. And I remember wearing dresses to school. But Heidi looked so adorable in all those cute little dresses!

It was heartwarming to see the relationship Heidi had with her grandfather and how he was completely transformed by her mere presence. I would have loved to have attended that church with them too.

And now back to reality. Adriana and I went out for a delicious lunch today. And yes it was birria. But I think I need a long walk now followed by some time with Duolingo.

Enjoy your Sunday!

Five Things You May Not Know

Standard
Five Things You May Not Know

A friend challenged me to write a blog post about myself. He asked me to write about five things that most people don’t know about me. Obviously some people may know these things, but most people don’t. I have followers from all over the world who do not know me personally at all. So here goes.

One. As a young child I was double-jointed. Yep, I could do the splits among other things. Of course I’ve also been arthritic most of my adult life so I wonder if that might be why.

Two. If I ever accidently eat anything that contains liver it triggers a gag reflex. Yuck!

Three. A boyfriend once gave me a dog for Chanukah……a big dog even though it was a puppy. I was living at home at the time and my parents strongly suggested I give it back to the breeder after it chewed everything in sight and wasn’t the least bit interested in being paper trained.

Four. One summer I took a merit typing course in summer school. I wanted to learn to type and because I was in a university entrance program, typing was not offered during the regular school year.

Five. I prefer living in small towns rather than in large cities.

There you have it. Five things you may not know about me.

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream

Standard
Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream

I’m not sure if it’s because I listened to the song or if it was just my turn to have a strange dream. But Thursday night was the night for more than one strange dream. As I whizzed through different decades in my life, the imagery was distinct and clear. I don’t recall all the details. But I went from nineteen to four to thirty-seven and a variety of other memorable ages. The people in my dreams seemed so real although many have not been a part of my life in years, either by choice or in some cases death. But they were all there and alive in my dreams.

Friday night I was surfing through Spotify and came across some old Perry Como songs. Yes I am that ancient. When I awoke the next morning I felt more than a little disoriented. I expected to see my childhood rocking chair and my record player. Those songs really got to me. They were favorites when I was a child. Middle of the House, Mi Casa Su Casa, Catch a Falling Star. I wonder if my readers remember any of those.

But when I opened my eyes I was here in Mexico, not in my childhood bedroom. Yet it had all seemed so real. For a few fleeting moments I was transported back to the safety of my childhood, a very comfortable place. At that age I didn’t watch the news on TV so I had no idea how chaotic the rest of the world was. My parents did a good job of sheltering me back then. Of course there was no Internet or Facebook in the olden days either.

I wonder if my own children ever have similar experiences. Of course they probably remember Madonna or Michael Jackson rather than Perry Como. The 80s were definitely different than the 50s.

This afternoon as I work on my novel, I’ve decided to listen to 60s country in the background. Can’t wait to find out what the dreams will be about tonight!

Happy Sunday!

Memories Of My Mom

Standard
Memories Of My Mom

It’s getting close to Mother’s Day so I thought I’d reminisce about my mom. In June it will be twenty-six years since she passed away. I spent days by her bedside in the weeks she lay in ICU fighting for her life. And I also made sure my kids had the opportunity to say goodbye, something I never had experienced when my grandparents died in hospitals.

I do not own a dress. Why not? Don’t all women love to wear dresses. Not this one! My mother always made me wear dresses, and I can still feel those scratchy crinolines more than six decades later.

My mother was an amazing seamstress. She was also talented when it came to knitting and crocheting. Somehow those genes were never passed down to me. And since the Brownie pack I belonged to focused on the above, I can’t say I have great memories of those days.

My mom was an artist when it came to baking. Not only did the cakes and cookies taste amazing; the decorating was astounding as well. Her shortbread and chocolate torte were famous and were always in demand. I have memories of birthday cakes that were envied by all my friends.

I learned the importance of volunteering from my mother. She served as president of the sisterhood at her synagogue and volunteered in other charitable organizations.

At her winter home in Port Charlotte, she persuaded a group of women to do water aerobics. Now that gene she passed down to me as I was certified as an instructor and taught classes at the YMCA in Winnipeg.

Other memorable feats were getting a driver’s license for the first time at age sixty-seven and winning the award for erasing the most movies by accident when she learned to use a VCR.

I know very little about her childhood and teenage years. She once told me she’d had a dog that had been run over by a car and that’s why I’d never been allowed to have a dog when I was growing up. She had also belonged to a group called Sunshine Girls, but I don’t know if that was when she lived in Boston or Winnipeg. I honestly don’t even know how she met my dad, although I have heard different stories from family members.

My mom adored her grandchildren. She was blessed to not only live in the same city as her children and grandchildren, but we all lived merely blocks away from each other. She proudly came to her grandchildren’s concerts plays, dance recitals, bowling tournaments and graduations.

We used to talk on the phone at least twice a day and twenty-six years later I still miss those conversations. We always had so much to talk about. If she were still here today I can literally think of a million questions I’d like to ask her. There is so much more I would like to know about her.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, and especially to my mom in heaven.

I Still Collect Dolls

Standard
I Still Collect Dolls

When I was a child I always loved playing with dolls. At night many of them shared my bed with me.I remember one rag doll I received from Kellogg’s. I vaguely recall saving up boxtops from cereal for her.My grandfather brought me a doll from New York. When you squeezed her hands together her lips puckered and she blew kisses.I had another doll that walked with me. She stood almost half my height and even had brown hair like mine.I also had a collection of Barbie, Ken and Midge dolls. My mother was an amazing seamstress and sewed beautiful clothes for them.My children had cabbage patch dolls. Other than that I don’t recall my daughter spending much time playing with dolls.When I was in Kelowna last summer I brought my granddaughter a Minnie Mouse doll. She really loved her and my daughter tells me she still plays with her.Four years ago I was in a thrift shop in Wenatchee and came across this precious little porcelain doll. Small enough to travel with me in my suitcase, I eagerly purchased her that day.A couple of years ago I found another porcelain doll even smaller than the first one. Perfect company for each other.Years ago when I was in Winnipeg, my friend Audrey gave me this little darling with a suitcase. She said she thought of me when she saw her as I’m always traveling and living out of suitcases.The other day I was out for lunch with my friend Sharon and she gave me this little treasure. More memories created.I wonder if I ever really settled down in one place how many more dolls would be in my collection.

Dear Daddy

Standard
Dear Daddy

Another Father’s Day without you today. We haven’t celebrated this day together in 44 years. You were taken from me way too soon.

When you died I lost my hero, my best friend and my sense of security. You were always there for me. I could talk to you about anything and everything. And there has never been anyone else in my life who could fill that void.

I treasure the memories I have in my heart. I can still see you assembling the swing set in the backyard on Brock Street. You were so patient in teaching me how to ride a bike and then later on teaching me how to drive a car.

I remember the day we were at Ashdowns buying tools and I fell in love with a pink pyjama dog. I cuddled with Pinky every night for years.

I absolutely adore this photo of us at Van Kirk Gardens. You always sculpted a beautiful garden around our house. You knew my favorite flowers were marigolds and there was always a special place set aside for them.

Sometimes you’d go back to the office to work in the evenings. I’d take along my homework and go with you.

At Christmas we’d go for rides to see the lights and always check out the Carlings display. It was such a magical place with a nursery rhyme theme.

We had intense conversations when we went for rides or walks. Two of your favored phrases have stuck with me through the years. Honesty is the best policy. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

You instilled a set of values in me that have made me the person I am today. And I have tried to pass these on to my children, the grandchildren you sadly never had the chance to meet. They have missed out on having an amazing grandfather in their lives.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of you.

Sending you lots of love today and every day.

Happy Father’s Day!