Tag Archives: relationships

I Will Always Call Her Kimmy

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I Will Always Call Her Kimmy

When my daughter was born, I was surprised, no let’s call it shocked. You see, I’d had the same difficult pregnancy, had carried the same way and was positive that it was going to be another boy. I recall a nurse asking me what name I had chosen, and I recall blurting out Kevin Matthew. She reassured me that I had just given birth to a girl and that I needed to think of another name.

So I did. I called my daughter Kelly Melinda, at least for the first twenty-four hours. But then I caved. Family all chided me and said I couldn’t have a Kyle, Kelly and Kelsey. They all sounded too alike. Kyle was my son and Kelsey was my dog.

After a somewhat tense discussion, my ex and I decided on Kimberly instead of Kelly. Mara, her middle name, was my ex’s idea. He didn’t like Melinda. So now I had a Kimmy instead of a Kelly.

And it was all good until she announced that she wanted to be called Kim, not Kimmy. Okay, she’s in her forties now and she made this decision when she was only six or seven, but I still call her Kimmy. And when Kyle and I talk about her, it’s always Kimmy.

The other day I was doing a video call with my granddaughter Madeline. She pouted annoyedly and said to her mom, “Did you hear what Grandma just called you?” Out came the guns; once again my daughter criticizing me for calling her Kimmy. Apparently I’m the worst mom in the world because I still call her Kimmy.

I don’t care. Judge me all you want. It was hard enough giving up Kelly. But don’t ask me to give up another name. I will always call her Kimmy.

You’re Never There

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You’re Never There

I disagree. I can’t say I’m never there, but I definitely can say that I’m seldom there. And just where is there? Why, it’s Facebook of course!

Just why am I seldom there? Because life is to be lived. That means up front and personal. That means interacting with other people. It doesn’t mean staring at a screen on my phone or on my laptop all day. That isn’t living.

Basically, I share my WordPress blog on Facebook. I belong to three writers groups on Facebook which I don’t always check out as often as I would like to. I’ve learned a lot about writing and publishing from these groups. As I’ve said many times before, send me a private message if you want me to be aware of something important going on in your life. With hundreds of friends on Facebook, I don’t have time to waste scrolling and sifting through far too many shared posts every day to find the ones that may truly be worth reading.

Occasionally I read posts on Facebook from a group called If You Grew Up In Winnipeg. There are two types of people who post here…those who still live there and haven’t experienced life outside of Winnipeg and those that have escaped Winnipeg when they have discovered the adventures that can be found elsewhere. However I must admit that I do find some of the photos quite interesting.

I had a stimulating conversation with a friend in Winnipeg last night. We’re both divorced, have adult children and grandchildren. We both concluded that our lives have not turned out the way we envisioned them years ago. But we do find our lives challenging as well as fulfilling.

And I wholeheartedly continue to embrace this philosophy…………………. First Coffee, Now What?

And you?

Beam Me Back

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Beam Me Back

My childhood was in the fifties and my teenage years in the sixties. I never thought about it back then but when I look back at it today……….”Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end,” sang Mary Hopkin. But those days did end. I look around me and can’t believe what I see today.

We can’t blame everything on the availability of technology, although many would prefer to do so. Kids today aren’t nearly as carefree as we were back then. Fire drills have been replaced by other drills in the classroom; drills that were unimaginable when I was young.

My own kids came along in the eighties. At a very young age they were playing games like “Don’t talk to Strangers,” not Cowboys and Indians. They learned to decode alarm systems instead of coming home to unlocked doors after school. The internet was at their fingertips to read about war and violence. As a child I wasn’t even allowed to watch the 11 o’clock news as my parents thought it might give me nightmares.

Today it’s worse. Here in the Wenatchee Valley crime rates are higher than the national average. We are all still reeling from the tragic death of three sisters at the hands of their murderous father. And he is still at large. This is something that should be reserved for a Lifetime movie. It shouldn’t be happening in real life in our own backyard.

As a child, we played outside with friends until the streetlights came on. Neighbors looked out for each other and someone was always checking up on the kids, whoever’s house they happened to be playing at. The front porch was a popular place to sit. Today people back out of their garages and don’t even know their neighbors. Backyard decks allow for even more privacy; or is it seclusion?

Hitchhike? Accept a ride from a stranger while waiting at a bus stop? Unheard of today. I wouldn’t even want my child to use public transit so those options are definitely eliminated. The term “helicopter parent” would absolutely apply to me. And that isn’t good parenting either. Kids have to learn to make choices, preferably good ones. And they don’t have the opportunity to do that if they’re overprotected.

And then there’s the opposite. There are the kids who have too much freedom, the kids whose parents are too wrapped up in themselves to notice the warning signs that their kids are struggling and getting into trouble. And when they finally do notice a problem, the blame is more often than not put on the teacher or the coach instead of the parent.

Dick, Jane and Sally. Spot and Puff. Where have you gone?

My Mind Is Wandering

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My Mind Is Wandering

Yesterday afternoon I was chatting with a friend online. I told her I might have to come back to Winnipeg to take care of a legal matter. She told me that my life would make a great book. Today another friend told me to forget the book. Just go after the screenplay.

I actually began writing some memoirs a few years ago when I was living in Leavenworth, inspired by a course I was taking at the time. I thought they might be nice to leave for my granddaughter. But the more I got into it, the more I realized that there were a lot of things that had gone on in my life that I didn’t want her to know about, especially since my children didn’t even know about them.

I once contemplated writing an autobiography. But if I wrote an autobiography, no-one would believe it. People would think it was fiction. In all honesty, I’m living this life and I have a hard time believing it. But my close friends who have been there for me throughout the years continue to assure me that my life is very real and is definitely not fiction. They’ve seen the crazy things that have gone on, especially in the last couple of decades.

And that brings me back to the legal issue which is a daunting dilemma. My close friends know about it and that’s enough for now. There won’t be anything in my blog until the matter is resolved. And that will take time.

It’s a glorious spring day out there today. The sun shines brightly in the sky and the temperature is hovering around 90 degrees. I went out to the flea market on my street very early this morning in order to avoid the stifling heat later on in the day.

My neighborhood has taken on a very different feel this week. La Feria de San Marcos begins on Saturday. Three weeks of music, rides, vendors and celebration. Thousands of people throng here not only from Mexico but from other countries as well. Hundreds of worker have been at it for weeks now setting up. And I am living a mere two blocks away from one of the main stages!

Emiliano came unexpectedly for an English class today although the kids are off school this week for Semana Santa. We talked about the solar system and watched a short video. He is looking forwarding to seeing Minecraft over the holidays. He enjoys the game and is excited about seeing the movie. So we watched the trailer together in English.

I’m still listening to audiobooks but this morning I have a music playlist on in the background as I write this. Everything from Backstreet Boys to Marianas Trench. Actually it’s great music for writing memoirs, but I’m not going there today, or anytime soon.

Time for lunch. Ricardo made lasagna. Yummy!

Different Things

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Different Things

I slept in this morning. My first cup of coffee was at eleven. Breakfast was pasta alfredo at about 1 pm. It’s humpday and it’s one of those days.

Today I read a blog post written by a friend in Missouri. It began by mentioning memoirs, evolved into family life, and from there went on to a craft project. Despite the fact that the rain exacerbates her knee and back pain, she always plows her way through to finding something positive. You are an inspiration to all of us, Ty. Thank you.

Sea snakes are harassing beachgoers in Puerto Vallarta. These poisonous creatures are dangerous. It used to be just the tides we had to watch out for. And I guess we can throw the jellyfish in with that too. I detest snakes so won’t be going to Puerto Vallarta anytime soon.

Time to embarrass one of my kids. My daughter just competed in the CPU Nationals (Canadian Powerlifting) and qualified for Internationals. She is off to Panama in October to compete. It’s exciting that I get to watch her live online. It’s almost like being there.

I found a great dentist here in Aguascalientes. His office is only a five minute walk from my house. A visit to the dentist isn’t one of my favorite pastimes, but he was excellent and I actually felt quite relaxed. I’ve even forgiven him for the white diet he put me on after the whitening process.

I won’t comment on Trump’s speech last night. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’m not interested in sparring with friends who are staunch Democrats and friends who are staunch Republicans. We’ll just have to wait and see how everything turns out.

I just signed up for a virtual program with NCW Libraries. This one is being presented as a part of Women’s History Month and deals with homelessness.

I’ve started to think about returning to Washington in May but, as usual, am procrastinating the arduous task of booking flights.

Have a great afternoon!

February Finale

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February Finale

February might be the shortest month of the year but it’s been one of the busiest for me. While the focus this winter has been on writing, other activities fill my days as well. Church online. Bible Study on Zoom. Writing Webinars. Conversation Club. Tutoring. Friends. And finally this month I did some traveling.

I went to visit my friend Angie in Pachuca. It’s been three years since we last saw each other but we just picked up where we left off. Time was of no consequence. We first met in December 2010 on El Chepe up in the Copper Canyon. We hit it off as we were both teaching English at the time. Angie is Mexican and was a superb translator for me because back then my Spanish language skills were practically non-existent!

This week my daughter is competing in the CPU Nationals in Canada. I must admit that it’s a little unnerving watching her bench press more than her weight but I’m also so very proud of her and what she has accomplished. Last year I got to see it in person. This time I’m watching online.

My granddaughter Madeline turns seven tomorrow. It seems like just yesterday I flew to Ontario shortly after she was born. Video calls will have to suffice until I see her again in person this summer. I predict that she will be as tall as Grandma by then.

I’m attending a program on Zoom later this week that deals with publishing. I’m looking forward to it as I hope to publish a book this spring and the writing world has changed since I first published back in 2009. My genre has also changed and my next book is fiction.

I enjoyed my break from reading all the newsfeeds. And I ignored the podcasts. Now back to reality where people are still trying to hack into my Facebook and Microsoft accounts. Back to reading about more airline mishaps. Back to reading about The United States of Democrats and The United States of Republicans. Back to reading about the gong show going on in Canada. I think I need another break.

Last One For A While

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Last One For A While

This is my last post from Washington until the spring. On Monday I leave for Mexico for the winter. The fall has been beautiful here and I’ve managed to avoid snow although the temperature has dropped considerably.

The time has flown by quickly. And this last week even more so. It’s a time of saying goodbye to friends. It’s a time to say “See you in May.” It’s a time to bid farewell to the brilliant colors of the leaves on the trees and the majestic mountain views. It’s a time for numerous “lasts” of the season.

Linda and I did our last Netflix binge. This time it was The Lincoln Lawyer. Virgin River will have to wait until I return in the spring.

I went to my last writers’ group meeting on Wednesday and enjoyed one last lunch at the Senior Center with them after. This is the best writers’ group I’ve ever belonged to. We all come from different places and have had a variety of life experiences which provides a great deal of inspiration when it comes to writing.

On Thursday I went to my last book club meeting. This is my first year with the group although it has been in existence for several years. A delightful group of ladies combined with the ambience of the Wenatchee Golf Club make our monthly luncheon get-togethers most enjoyable.

On Friday I went out for lunch with Soul Sisters and friends from church. I was totally overwhelmed by the large turnout who came to bid me farewell. Although I’ve only attended Breath of Life for just over a month, I treasure the friendships I’ve made and intend to stay in touch until I return to East Wenatchee in the spring.

On Friday afternoon I started packing and then went over to my brother’s for one last dinner before I leave. Back in 2016 I had no idea that his invitation to visit would result in my becoming a snowbird to Washington State for so many years.

On Saturday Joyce and I went to one last movie at Gateway. We lingered over coffee afterwards where the conversation ranged from musings on the recent election to religion and everything in between. I will miss these interesting discussions. They’re so much better in person than over a phone call.

Today is Sunday and I started the day at church. There were a lot of hugs and farewells and then I was off to one last lunch at Peking with Clairesse and Linda. I just got home and decided to get this blog post up before I finish packing. Then it will be one last dinner with Christina before I fly out tomorrow.

Watch for my first post from Mexico later in the month.

Oh No! It’s October!

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Oh No! It’s October!

October is here. The temperature is cooler and the days are shorter. The leaves are just beginning to turn from green to glorious shades of red and orange. I admit it. Fall is my favorite season.

September flew by in a blur. Here are some highlights. I volunteered at the Chelan County Fair where I checked in baking and preserves. I also volunteered at the 9/11 service in Cashmere. And I volunteered at the Essentials Bank at a church in Cashmere. I also attended the Autumn Leaf Festival parade in Leavenworth and went to writing group in Wenatchee. I ventured out on the Apple Loop Trail in East Wenatchee. And of course I enjoyed spending time with my friends who I will miss dearly when I head back south for the winter.

October is going to be a busy month. It is already. Yesterday was writers group. Today was book club. This weekend so far has a craft fair at my church, a book fair at Pybus Market, a book sale in Cashmere and we’re also going to see the movie White Bird.

Activities for the next few weeks are already beginning to fill my calendar. One thing that I always procrastinate doing is booking a flight back to Mexico. It will be more of a challenge this year as the marathons I used to run through airports on my own two feet will now be done in a wheelchair instead. While the sciatica has eased up considerably, walking long distances is still not an option, especially when I need to go from terminal to terminal in a short period of time if I am to make the connecting flights.

I’ve decided to stay here until after the November election. I’m hoping that the snow will not arrive before then. But if it does, I still have the Columbia ski jacket and the Sorrel boots I bought when I was stranded here over the winter during Covid. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the beautiful weather and the colorful leaves on the trees.

Desperate Housewives

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Desperate Housewives

When I come up to Washington each spring, one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV in English. In Mexico I make a point of watching in Spanish. I also find myself binge watching certain series with my friend Linda. Seeing as there has been no Virgin River or Lincoln Lawyer this year, we’ve watched Eric and My So Called Life.

I’m also watching one series on my own. Desperate Housewives brings back a lot of memories when on Sunday nights my kids and I used to watch it together. Once I moved to Mexico I never did catch up on the remaining seasons so I decided to do that now.

I’m in Season 7 now. This morning’s episode was when Gabrielle confronted her past. At first she fought the therapy sessions. But then she realized that the only way to move on with her life was to deal with the demons in her past. The big one was sexual abuse by her stepfather.

And that brought me back to my counseling days. One of the first people I ever counseled was a young woman dealing with sexual abuse. It took her years to finally be brave enough to come forward and admit the abuse. And as a counselor, I’m certain that I was only the first of professionals to come who would help her along the journey to healing.

In the very first counseling class I ever took, our instructor gave us a rather interesting first assignment. We were told to find a therapist; the idea being that if we had never been on the client side of that desk then we would never succeed on the counselor side. By a show of hands, I also recall that in that classroom of more than twenty students, only three of us admitted that we had previously been in therapy. Also noteworthy is that the following week, the class had greatly diminished in size. While there were more than three students, there were far fewer than twenty.

Back to Desperate Housewives and Gabrielle. This episode got me thinking of my own past. No. I never experienced sexual abuse. But I have sat on the client side of that desk and I know how difficult it is to look back at your childhood and realize that it was far from idyllic. Truthfully, the presence of both a mother and a father in the home does not necessarily make a family functional; indeed it can be quite the opposite.

I may be retired but I can still offer advice. Be open to suggestions. Embrace change. Take risks. We only get one crazy ride on the roller coaster of life.

Seventeen Hours

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Seventeen Hours

That’s how long it took me to get from Winnipeg to East Wenatchee last week. Commute to Winnipeg airport, go through TSA, go through Customs, flight to Minneapolis, layover, flight to Seattle, shuttle to Wenatchee, commute to East Wenatchee. Needless to say I slept almost twenty-four hours once I arrived back home.

It’s great to be back. I’ve missed my friends. I’ve missed the mountains. I’ve missed the sunshine.

What I don’t miss is barricading myself in a tiny room and staring at a computer screen as I scanned thousands of photos. I used to jokingly tell my friends that all I left behind in Winnipeg was my son and bins of photo albums. I can now honestly say that all I’ve left behind is my son. The photos are all digitalized. My childhood photos I gave to my brother. The rest of the photos and framed photos are history.

This was a tedious task and it was also emotionally draining. It took twice as long as I thought it would. I’m glad it’s done. Why didn’t we have cellphones with cameras decades ago? This generation has it easy.

I’ll miss my friends in Winnipeg, St. Norbert and Oak Bluff. We had some great times together while I was visiting. We enjoyed stimulating conversations, shared meals, watched movies and did some traveling. I’ll miss you Donna, Loris, Rita, Doug, Audrey, Sheila, Laura, Jacque, Marilyn, Kathy and David. I also enjoyed spending time with my brother.

The moments I treasure most are those with my son, Kyle. I was truly blessed to be with him both on Mother’s Day and on my birthday in May. That hasn’t happened in several years. He also took the time out of his busy schedule to set up a meeting with his attorney so that I could deal with some legal issues. I’m so very proud of Kyle and all of his accomplishments throughout the years. He has come a long way from the photos I scanned of him as a baby and as a child. But it gets harder and harder to say goodbye when it’s time for me to leave again. It’s painful when a mother and her child are separated for such long periods of time.

And now it’s back to life in Washington. Tomorrow I will be volunteering at Founders Day in Cashmere.

Enjoy the weekend!