Tag Archives: relationships

Oh No! It’s October!

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Oh No! It’s October!

October is here. The temperature is cooler and the days are shorter. The leaves are just beginning to turn from green to glorious shades of red and orange. I admit it. Fall is my favorite season.

September flew by in a blur. Here are some highlights. I volunteered at the Chelan County Fair where I checked in baking and preserves. I also volunteered at the 9/11 service in Cashmere. And I volunteered at the Essentials Bank at a church in Cashmere. I also attended the Autumn Leaf Festival parade in Leavenworth and went to writing group in Wenatchee. I ventured out on the Apple Loop Trail in East Wenatchee. And of course I enjoyed spending time with my friends who I will miss dearly when I head back south for the winter.

October is going to be a busy month. It is already. Yesterday was writers group. Today was book club. This weekend so far has a craft fair at my church, a book fair at Pybus Market, a book sale in Cashmere and we’re also going to see the movie White Bird.

Activities for the next few weeks are already beginning to fill my calendar. One thing that I always procrastinate doing is booking a flight back to Mexico. It will be more of a challenge this year as the marathons I used to run through airports on my own two feet will now be done in a wheelchair instead. While the sciatica has eased up considerably, walking long distances is still not an option, especially when I need to go from terminal to terminal in a short period of time if I am to make the connecting flights.

I’ve decided to stay here until after the November election. I’m hoping that the snow will not arrive before then. But if it does, I still have the Columbia ski jacket and the Sorrel boots I bought when I was stranded here over the winter during Covid. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the beautiful weather and the colorful leaves on the trees.

Desperate Housewives

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Desperate Housewives

When I come up to Washington each spring, one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV in English. In Mexico I make a point of watching in Spanish. I also find myself binge watching certain series with my friend Linda. Seeing as there has been no Virgin River or Lincoln Lawyer this year, we’ve watched Eric and My So Called Life.

I’m also watching one series on my own. Desperate Housewives brings back a lot of memories when on Sunday nights my kids and I used to watch it together. Once I moved to Mexico I never did catch up on the remaining seasons so I decided to do that now.

I’m in Season 7 now. This morning’s episode was when Gabrielle confronted her past. At first she fought the therapy sessions. But then she realized that the only way to move on with her life was to deal with the demons in her past. The big one was sexual abuse by her stepfather.

And that brought me back to my counseling days. One of the first people I ever counseled was a young woman dealing with sexual abuse. It took her years to finally be brave enough to come forward and admit the abuse. And as a counselor, I’m certain that I was only the first of professionals to come who would help her along the journey to healing.

In the very first counseling class I ever took, our instructor gave us a rather interesting first assignment. We were told to find a therapist; the idea being that if we had never been on the client side of that desk then we would never succeed on the counselor side. By a show of hands, I also recall that in that classroom of more than twenty students, only three of us admitted that we had previously been in therapy. Also noteworthy is that the following week, the class had greatly diminished in size. While there were more than three students, there were far fewer than twenty.

Back to Desperate Housewives and Gabrielle. This episode got me thinking of my own past. No. I never experienced sexual abuse. But I have sat on the client side of that desk and I know how difficult it is to look back at your childhood and realize that it was far from idyllic. Truthfully, the presence of both a mother and a father in the home does not necessarily make a family functional; indeed it can be quite the opposite.

I may be retired but I can still offer advice. Be open to suggestions. Embrace change. Take risks. We only get one crazy ride on the roller coaster of life.

Seventeen Hours

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Seventeen Hours

That’s how long it took me to get from Winnipeg to East Wenatchee last week. Commute to Winnipeg airport, go through TSA, go through Customs, flight to Minneapolis, layover, flight to Seattle, shuttle to Wenatchee, commute to East Wenatchee. Needless to say I slept almost twenty-four hours once I arrived back home.

It’s great to be back. I’ve missed my friends. I’ve missed the mountains. I’ve missed the sunshine.

What I don’t miss is barricading myself in a tiny room and staring at a computer screen as I scanned thousands of photos. I used to jokingly tell my friends that all I left behind in Winnipeg was my son and bins of photo albums. I can now honestly say that all I’ve left behind is my son. The photos are all digitalized. My childhood photos I gave to my brother. The rest of the photos and framed photos are history.

This was a tedious task and it was also emotionally draining. It took twice as long as I thought it would. I’m glad it’s done. Why didn’t we have cellphones with cameras decades ago? This generation has it easy.

I’ll miss my friends in Winnipeg, St. Norbert and Oak Bluff. We had some great times together while I was visiting. We enjoyed stimulating conversations, shared meals, watched movies and did some traveling. I’ll miss you Donna, Loris, Rita, Doug, Audrey, Sheila, Laura, Jacque, Marilyn, Kathy and David. I also enjoyed spending time with my brother.

The moments I treasure most are those with my son, Kyle. I was truly blessed to be with him both on Mother’s Day and on my birthday in May. That hasn’t happened in several years. He also took the time out of his busy schedule to set up a meeting with his attorney so that I could deal with some legal issues. I’m so very proud of Kyle and all of his accomplishments throughout the years. He has come a long way from the photos I scanned of him as a baby and as a child. But it gets harder and harder to say goodbye when it’s time for me to leave again. It’s painful when a mother and her child are separated for such long periods of time.

And now it’s back to life in Washington. Tomorrow I will be volunteering at Founders Day in Cashmere.

Enjoy the weekend!

Way Too Many

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Way Too Many

For the past month I have been scanning photos. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are way too many. Why on earth did we take so many pictures? Why are there so many albums? The albums have been sitting in waterproof bins in my son’s basement for fourteen years. Has anyone even looked at them? This is 2024. Digital is the way to go.

In roughly the past ten years, I’ve had four surgeries in three different countries, sought asylum in two foreign countries during Covid and have moved from city to city in foreign countries. But none of this has been as stressful and gut-wrenching as going through these photo albums. I hope this doesn’t sound too crass but so many people in these photos are now divorced or dead.

I think I need a new project. But first I need to finish this one so I can get back to East Wenatchee. I need some normalcy in my life again. But I think I still have to wait a while for that to happen. My new ETA to the USA is now mid-June. End of May was unrealistic.

Caution to my readers. If you ever decide to do what I’m doing, you better hope that you’re in a place where it rains every single day so you don’t mind being holed up in a room with a computer and a scanner for hours on end. So far that’s been my experience this May in Winnipeg. Rain, rain and more rain.

But I’m strong and I can do this.

Back in Washington

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Back in Washington

Coming back after 6 months away is always a blur of adjusting and getting organized. We’re actually going to hit 60 today which is a far cry from 87. My sciatica is complaining. But in time it will settle down. It wasn’t exactly thrilled with the 4 hour flight back from Mexico.

I’m unpacked and getting organized. I went to AT&T and got my phone number for the year. I’ve been busy texting and messaging my new number to friends. My What’s App stays on my Mexican number. Also have been dealing with credit card companies to register the new number and access my online accounts. They don’t like it when I change countries and phone numbers as often as I do.

Adjusting to an English world. The only Spanish I’ve done since I’m back is on Duolingo, although I have texted friends in Mexico in Spanish.

Only one trip to Costco so far in terms of shopping. Joyce and I are going to Dollar Tree tomorrow after lunch at the Senior Center. I don’t really miss Waldo’s in Mexico and much prefer the American version of a dollar store.

Did a Bible study with my life group on Zoom this morning. We’re planning on getting together in person later in the month. Not everyone lives in Wenatchee or East Wenatchee so it does take some planning.

I just came home from a SAIL Lunch and Learn and it was nice to reconnect with everyone after several months away. But I don’t intend to do any teaching until I get back from Canada in June. Did I say Canada? Yes I’m back on a plane in 3 weeks to head up north.

Speaking of planes, I didn’t get sucked out of my window seat on the Boeing 737 on my way back from Mexico. No blown tires, cracked windshields or missing parts of the fuselage either. Great flights that left on time and arrived early. Even Immigration welcomed me back.

Yesterday was definitely one of the highlights of my first week back. I traveled to Leavenworth to Shears for my hair appointment. Lisa always has her hands full dealing with the mess the Mexican hairstylists make and she had her hands full yesterday. But as usual she did an amazing job.

Yesterday in Leavenworth I also got to see Linda. We picked up sandwiches at Dan’s and settled in to watch the Virgin River Christmas episodes. We’re also making plans to attend the Leavenworth Summer Theater productions.

I have a CPR refresher on Thursday and then I will finally have a day to relax on Friday, if you call doing laundry and housecleaning relaxing.

Another highlight was going in person to Sage Hills Church on Sunday. So much nicer than on-line. And I got to meet some of the women from my Zoom life group in person as well.

Sunday afternoon Clairesse and I went to Blue Spoon for some delightful frozen yogurt. We had a lot to catch up on. That happens when you don’t see each other for 6 months.

Sunday night Christina and I watched a movie together. We decided that Sunday nights will be movie nights while I’m here.

I haven’t even looked at my WIP since I’ve been back. I had a lot more time for writing when I was in Mexico. But that’s okay. I still have friends to see and places to go and things to do. And I have writers’ group next week!

And my dear tree in Cashmere, I haven’t forgotten you. I promise I’ll come visit you really soon.

Last Post From Aguascalientes

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Last Post From Aguascalientes

The winter flew by fast. But my six months is up. I’m taking a break from packing. It’s easier packing to leave than to come here. Everything goes and nothing is left behind. But it’s still not a task I enjoy. I do love my packing cubes, so that definitely helps.

It’s been a week of goodbyes with friends—one last torta, one last desayuno, one last hamburguesa, one last cerveza together until October. That’s the hard part about leaving.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. Last year I went to Sage Hills in Wenatchee. This year I’ll be at one of the Catholic churches nearby. I wonder where I’ll be for Easter next year.

I will miss my lackadaisical days of writing when I feel like it. My life is a lot more structured up north. My April calendar is already filling up and I’m not even back yet. But I must admit I’m looking forward to my hair appointment at Shears. Every year I try out different stylists in Mexico but they can never quite seem to get it right.

I spoke to my daughter yesterday. I can’t believe my baby turned forty. Wasn’t it just yesterday I gave birth to her? Okay, I’ve embarrassed her enough if she’s reading this.

My journey home begins tomorrow at midnight when I take ETN to Puerto Vallarta. I opted for only one day there on the way back. Semana Santa is pretty crazy there. On Tuesday it’s Alaska to Wenatchee via Sea-Tac. And I refuse to check the weather forecast because I know it won’t be in the eighties and sunny.

To all who celebrate, have a blessed Easter. He is risen!

Life 101

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Life 101

Life 101: Mental and Physical Self-Care. University of California, Irvine. That’s the course I’ve just started this month on Coursera. This week we’re discussing habits. We’re learning how to overcome bad habits and turn things around so that we form good habits. We’re learning how to look at our current life situation and interpret things in a more positive way than we have in the past. We’re learning how to strive for goals differently by considering the benefits of intrinsic motivation over extrinsic motivation.

The beauty of taking a course on Coursera is that I work at my own pace. Other courses I’ve done on Zoom demand that you be there on certain times and on certain days. With the nomadic lifestyle I follow, this is difficult and sometimes even impossible. Thankfully some of the writers’ workshops I attend on Zoom frequently send me recordings of the session and that is quite helpful.

Less than three weeks left until I fly back to Washington. I finally went down to Central yesterday and got my bus ticket to Puerto Vallarta. I have a hotel booked and I fly back up north to Wenatchee via Seattle on April 2nd. This winter went by way too fast.

I’ve been stockpiling meds as the cost here is about a third of what it is in the USA. I really don’t enjoy all these tedious last minute things to do before I leave. And I especially despise having to say goodbye to friends. It’s interesting the close relationships you develop with people although you’re only in a place for a few months.

And then there are other friends who have left Aguascalientes and are now living in other areas in Mexico as well as in the USA. But Aguascalientes has become home to me. I love my neighborhood and the delightful tiendas and papalerias. I have my favorite restaurants that haven’t changed much over the years. There are the familiar parks and streets that are comforting. However, I still look forward to the time I spend up north.

When I first arrived in Mexico in 2010 I met several people in Mazatlan who had decided to leave Mexico and return to the USA. I really pondered that one until I reached year six living fulltime in Mexico. That first visit to Leavenworth in 2016 had an impact. I became a snowbird after that. And I have been blessed to enjoy the best of both worlds.

But it’s still hard to say Adios when it’s time to leave.

A Facebook Memory

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A Facebook Memory

I always glance at my Facebook memories every day. I find it interesting to see where I’ve traveled as well as the people I’ve met along the way. The memory that surfaced today is a bittersweet one. I had moved back to Winnipeg and both my kids were living there. I made an early Christmas dinner in 2009 as a friend and I were spending Christmas in Cuba that year.

I made a turkey and all my kids’ favorite dishes and desserts. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would be the last time we’d be together for a Christmas dinner. But it was. The following year I moved to Mexico and I haven’t been back to Winnipeg since during the winter. While my son is still in Winnipeg, my daughter lives in Kelowna. And here I am in Mexico again for another Christmas.

I actually did spend Christmas in Wenatchee in 2020. I got an extended stay in the USA that year because of Covid. Otherwise I’ve been in Mexico for Christmas since 2010. And I’ve celebrated Christmas in a number of different places including Culiacan, Guadalajara, Mazatlan, Tototlan, Lake Chapala, San Ciro de Acosta and Aguascalientes. And I wonder where I’ll be next year.

Maybe when I go back to Canada in the summer I should have a Christmas dinner with my kids one year. That will take some planning seeing as my kids don’t live anywhere near each other. But it’s a thought.

Thanks for the memories, Facebook!

December 7

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December 7

December 7, 2023. Day 4 of rain. Very unusual weather for Aguascalientes at this time of year. I actually snuck out yesterday for a walk. I had time to do about 2.5 kilometers before the rain started up again. It’s rather treacherous walking around here when the ground is wet. Uneven pavement and high curbs are often a challenge when it’s dry.

December 7, 2008. I can’t believe that fifteen years has gone by since we lost Little Koal. In some ways it seems like just yesterday. For my new readers, Koal was our dog when I lived in Canada. He was just shy of sixteen when he woke me one morning on that last day of his life. He always slept in bed with me and cuddled up next to me. It was a Sunday morning and should have been a sleep late day, but Koal was having a seizure and it woke me.

Koal never knew he was a dog. He thought he was a child. Yes, we spoiled him. But then my kids did refer to him as their baby brother. When my kids grew up and moved out, I’d tell Koal his brother or his sister was coming over and he’d plant himself in front of the living room window where he could keep an eye on the driveway.

Koal was also a vegetarian by choice which necessitated countless trips to the USA to buy him his food. Unfortunately back then vegetarian dog food wasn’t available in Manitoba where we lived. He loved the fries at VJ’s and whenever I went through a fast food drive-thru i always got him a salad. When I was preparing dinner he couldn’t care less if there was meat around, but when those veggies came out he drove me crazy! He was only a few months old when he dragged a large bag of salad into his kennel and hid. I was sure I had bought salad at Costco that day and the last place I thought I’d find it was in Koal’s kennel. From then on the veggies were put away before the meat.

My kids taught Koal all kinds of tricks and were an amazing help in training him when he first joined our family. Both kids were still living at home back then. They showered him with treats and one kitchen cupboard was designated for Koal.

I worked mainly from home back then and Koal had a little bed in my office. I’d be on the computer and he’d be sleeping beside me. The minute I’d stand up to leave the room he was awake and following me. Koal was my shadow.

Koal also had his own chair at the dining room table. And on his birthday I always baked him a cake with no icing. My kids made sure there were candles and sparklers on that cake too. I enjoy looking back at some of those photos. It was like I had three kids, not two.

Koal also had quite a wardrobe. When my mom was alive she crocheted sweaters for him to wear in the winter. My kids bought him all kinds of t-shirts and they loved to dress him up. My son was totally enamored with the San Francisco 49ers and bought Koal a t-shirt, collar and leash. Koal even had Halloween costumes.

In Koal’s senior years, he faced challenges with his hearing and eyesight. But that didn’t phase him. Arthritis prevented him from running and jumping and he had to be lifted up onto the bed at night. But his amazing personality glowed until the day we had to put him down.

A former neighbor, Ron, was our vet. He came into the clinic that Sunday for us. I held Koal in my arms one last time, my son on one said of me and my daughter on the other. We were all in tears, even Ron. I went home to an empty house. For days after, I kept finding toys and treats all over the house. Koal was still everywhere.

I really miss having a dog but my present nomadic lifestyle just doesn’t lend itself to having a pet again. It’s bad enough that I deal with three sets of immigration in three countries every year. A dog would make it even more complicated.

Maybe someday I’ll settle down. And I know what the first thing I will buy is, and it’s not furniture.

Buenas Tardes

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Buenas Tardes

Between following the world news, American politics and hurricane warnings here in Mexico, it’s been an eventful couple of weeks since I’ve been back. It’s peaceful here in Aguascalientes and I’m quite content to remain here for a while before venturing out to travel again.

Romina’s birthday party was fun and I enjoyed being with Gloria and her family again. Lunch with Lorraine and Victor at Country Break was a must. Joanne and I had breakfast at Palapa de Charly and caught up on seven months of activity. Other friends are starting to arrive in Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta as well.

I’m not one for routine but I do have a couple of things I do regularly. Every morning I say good morning to four friends on What’s App. We’ve been doing this for a while. Lorraine and Victor are here in Aguascalientes, Angie is in Pachuca and Adriana is in Guadalajara. We send each other GIFs and text as well.

I first met Lorraine and Victor two years ago through a mutual friend who no longer lives here. Lorraine is a few years older than me and spent part of her life in Chicago. She likes to speak English with me as she is Mexican and I’m one of her rare friends who speaks English. And she does not want to forget her English. Her son Victor is a few years younger than me and is also Mexican. They came to Aguascalientes from Mexico City a couple of years ago. Our usual meeting place is Country Break.

Angie and I met back in 2010 on a train ride up in the Copper Canyon. She is Mexican but was also an English teacher, also retired now. I’ve gotten to know her family and last year we were all together to celebrate New Years in Jilotzingo. Angie and I are planning to get together somewhere in Mexico in January this winter.

Adriana is a former student as well as an accountant. Never fond of grammar, she arranged for tamales and other food to be delivered to my classroom at just the right moment. Adriana also introduced me to the fine art of sucking candy through a straw. Occasionally we also send each other good night GIFs.

Another routine that is new to me this year is practicing Tai Chi at night before going to bed. It’s a great way to relax and I’m hoping that in time it will have the same effect as the Doozies that are not available down here.

Dia de Los Muertos, Day of the Dead, is coming up next week and I can hardly wait. It’s one of my favorite holidays here in Mexico and has quite a unique view of death and the spirit world. Partying in the cemetery is very different from the somber atmosphere in cemeteries in the USA and Canada. Creating alters and organizing parades are also characteristic of this holiday. I’ll likely write a post about it next week.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s eighth anniversary. Can’t believe it’s been eight years since we were all together in Punta Cana celebrating her wedding. Happy Anniversary Kimmy and Tarrant!