Tag Archives: prayer

Thicker Than Smoke

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Thicker Than Smoke

It rained this morning. It’s a cloudy day. Smoke has rolled in from the wildfires surrounding East Wenatchee. But the air is charged with something far more potent. And it has felt that way since I arrived in May. It’s very different than the usual, and everyone is commenting on it.

The atmosphere here is tense and emotionally charged. And not in a good way. Uncertainty. Unsureness. Doubt. Ambiguity. Discontent. Vagueness. Anxiety. Fear. These are just some of the words people are using to describe it.

School has been in session for only a couple of weeks. There have already been lockdowns due to suspicious persons roaming nearby. Other states have already reported shootings. When I was in school it was accepted that the teacher was always right. By the time my kids were in school it had changed. The parents were always right, not the teachers. Today it seems like it has shifted again. The kids feel entitled and they are the ones who are always right. Unfortunately that only leads to more violence.

And then there was the assassination of Charlie Kirk this past week. Freedom of Speech is protected by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Just because you may not agree with the words of a speaker does not give you the right to kill him. This shouldn’t be a matter of Republican versus Democrat. This is man’s inhumanity to man we’re talking about . And Kirk’s murder was a senseless and horrible tragedy.

This morning at church the sermon was about the importance of prayer and forgiveness. If there were more of that our world wouldn’t be in such a mess right now. That’s right. The entire world. It doesn’t matter what country you live in.

And while we’re on the topic of church, I never cease to be amazed by the men who walk into church with a Bible in one hand and a gun in a holster on their hip. Or the women who carry guns in their purses. The church I attend now is a smaller one and I haven’t noticed it here, but when I went to some of the more mega-sized churches it was definitely noticeable. Of course I’ve also had the experience of being locked inside a Christian church in Mexico once the service began. All in the name of security. And scary.

That’s it for doom and gloom. I pray that this coming week is a peaceful one for everyone.

Hug Your Kids Tight

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Hug Your Kids Tight

Last week a horrendous event occurred here in the Wenatchee Valley. It wasn’t an accident. It was cold-blooded murder. While I don’t personally know the family involved, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by this senseless tragedy. Actually a myriad of feelings fill my head. Frustration that an amber alert hadn’t been called immediately when a distraught mother reported that her ex-husband hadn’t returned her three daughters after a custodial visit. Anger that the father had done the unimaginable. He had murdered his three daughters. Compassion for the mother deprived of the opportunity to watch her children grow up, sharing in their joys and sorrows. And fear because this dangerous man is still at large.

While today more than ever people are encouraged to seek professional help when mental health issues arise, they are often reluctant to do so. Sadly sometimes the resources are not always readily available. There is also the danger of a misdiagnosis and inappropriate treatment. The system definitely has its flaws.

Wild speculations about the circumstances that led to this horrific event fill Facebook, fueled by the fact that the father was a veteran who had served in the military. This isn’t a time for Facebook gossip. This isn’t an internet soap opera. This is real life involving real people.

Instead, this is a time for prayer; for the mother, the three little angels now in heaven, and even the father.

Here We Go 2024

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Here We Go 2024

Happy New Year! May 2024 be filled with good health, love, peace and joy.

Right now I’m also praying for warmth. The month of December was rainy and cold. Overnight lows in the 30ths and daytime highs that don’t even reach 70 are not my idea of a winter in Mexico. Mexican homes are built to keep the heat out so it’s not surprising that outside it feels warmer than inside. This is my fourth year here in Aguascalientes and I wish I’d brought a ski jacket with me. Last year I never even put on a sweater. This year my hoodie is my best friend.

Do you ever wonder about why you are where you are and why you do what you do? Today is one of those days where I find myself doing just that. When I first came to Mexico back in 2010 it was a one year plan to teach English in Culiacan. But here I am fourteen years later, still in Mexico. Granted I reverted back to a snowbird in 2016 when I discovered Leavenworth, Washington. But I still haven’t found that one place where I want to settle down.

Sometimes I imagine what that one place might look like. I prefer smaller towns to large cities. I’d like to avoid snow but I would like to experience the beauty of all four seasons. I make friends easily everywhere I go and a sense of community is important to me. And if I ever do settle down again I would definitely get a dog.

I would love to perch comfortably on the seat of a bay window when I write. I’m not one for traditional chairs and desks. I find it more inspiring to gaze outside, especially if I can also hear the sound of waves lapping on the shore. Sunshine is also preferred although the patter of rain is also welcome from time to time.

But right now the bay window and the dog are still just a dream. And that’s okay. I will continue to volunteer my time teaching English in Mexico in the winter. And I look forward to going back to Wenatchee in the spring and rejoining the writers’ group and the Tai Chi classes at the Senior Center.

I have no idea what else lies in store for me in 2024 although I do have some tentative plans that include travel to Canada. I have a mission to accomplish but haven’t quite worked out the logistics yet. In the meantime I intend to enjoy the three months I have remaining in Mexico.

I encourage you to continue praying for world peace.

Back in AGS 2023

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Back in AGS 2023

A government shutdown was avoided so the air traffic controllers stayed on the job and I arrived as scheduled on Monday in Puerto Vallarta. I dodged Hurricane Lidia by a day and arrived in Aguascalientes by bus at 4 am on Tuesday. Raul, my landlord extraordinaire, picked me up and brought me home where I slept a good part of the day.

With all the craziness going on in the world today, it was comforting to come home to my familiar barrio of Las Flores. I’ve spent the last few days wandering around and renewing acquaintances. My neighbors are the same as last year and my Spanish got a workout. None of them speak English. Everyone remembers me and are very welcoming. I think I bought more stuff at my corner tienda than all the rest of his regular customers combined. I picked up food at a cocina and the lady was quite interested in hearing about my time up north. The lady at the candy store welcomed me back. Yes I’m still addicted to chocolate. I was at a gift shop today picking up a few things. I’m invited to a 5-year-old’s birthday party tomorrow. The lady at the gift shop asked me how my friends in Washington liked the things I’d bought for them when I left in March. And of course my friend Chui still has his potato chip operation only two doors down from where I live.

But yesterday was Friday the 13th and I’m glad that’s over with. I woke up to no internet. Thankfully it reappeared later in the day. But the real fiasco was at Telcel where my chip didn’t work in my new phone. AT&T insists the phone is unlocked and Telcel says it isn’t. So for the time being I’m carrying around two phones until I get it sorted out. A big thank you to Raul for coming with me and translating. The people at Telcel were having problems understanding him and he’s even Mexican. Raul has the patience of a saint as he kept changing the chips from phone to phone. So it appears that I am now using my old phone for Telcel and my new phone for everything else at the moment.

I’m going to end this post on a more somber note. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my family and friends in Israel. Your texts are comforting and greatly appreciated. Here in Mexico planes are being sent to evacuate over 700 Mexicans from Israel. There is no escaping this horrible war. It has affected everyone everywhere. Unfortunately there is no end in sight and all we can do now is continue to pray.

Another Tragedy

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Another Tragedy

A week ago at this time, millions of us in the world had never even heard of Uvalde, Texas. Now we can’t get it out of our heads. The sad part is that the focus should be on the senseless killing of innocent children and teachers, of the injured including the shooter’s own grandmother. Instead it has become a political gong show about who is to blame. This makes the tragedy even worse.

Accounts detailing the shooter’s biography are chilling. A victim of bullying. A history of violence. A son of a drug addict. And most disturbing that he legally purchased two rifles prior to the shooting and posted photos on his Instagram account.

My kids attended a private elementary school back in the 80s in Canada. The school had a security system and the doors were always locked. Here we are decades later and Robb Elementary had a door left propped open. With the track record here in the USA regarding school shootings, a door propped open during school hours? Absolutely reprehensible!

The mother instinct is a strong one. How dare they handcuff a woman who in desperation was trying to protect her children! Other angry parents begged for the Kevlar vests that the police had because law enforcement merely sat back and didn’t do anything. Perhaps more mothers are needed on the police forces.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims. I can only imagine how helpless they felt while the shooting was going on and how horrific the grieving is now that it’s over. We need to pray not only for these families, but for all of America, a country in crisis.

People First NOT Politics First.

Prayer Request

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Prayer Request

In the fall of 2010 I arrived in Culiacan to teach English at a private school. I did not speak Spanish and knew absolutely no-one in Mexico.

I was in the library on my break when one of the other teachers approached me. Juan spoke some English and wanted to improve his skills. He was also eager to help me learn Spanish. An intercambio exchange turned into a friendship. His wife Lucila taught at a different school and would come to drive him home. She also began to drive me home.

At the time they had one child, Juan Carlos, just over a year old. Over the years, our friendship has grown, and so has their family. They now have four children, and I have four nietos (grandsons) who call me abuelita (grandma). They and their extended family have all adopted me.

Juan Carlos phones me and we do video calls on Tuesdays and Fridays. I am amazed at how well he speaks English and am so very proud of him. He just graduated primaria (elementary school) earlier this month.

Since Covid arrived back in March of 2020, classes have been on the internet. For the most part, Juan and Lucila have been able to work from home. They go out only when absolutely necessary, usually for groceries. They wear masks and avoid crowds whenever possible.

Juan and Lucila each had one dose of Astra Zeneca, a vaccine not approved for use here in the USA. Sadly, they have both come down with Covid despite their efforts to stay healthy. My grandsons are all sick now as well.

The photo above was taken in happier times, back in December of 2019 when I last visited them in Culiacan.

I am so blessed to have this beautiful family in my life. Please keep them in your prayers.

Taking Care Of Me

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Taking Care Of Me

Taking care of me is a relatively new phenomena in my life. Until about ten years ago, I had spent decades putting other people first. Now it was finally time for me.

The downside is that I have spent the last ten years mostly traveling around. This is not exactly conducive with getting involved in a long term relationship. And I find myself alone now in a foreign country waiting out this pandemic.

Why didn’t I return to Canada when I had the chance? I haven’t had a home there in ten years. I had nowhere to go. Yes I have children and friends there. But it’s one thing to come back to visit for a week or two but quite another to come back for a longer period of time.

Where I really wanted to go was back to Leavenworth. I discovered this quaint village four years ago and I’ve put down roots there. But I’m Canadian not American so the border is closed to me.

I have been taking care of myself here in Aguascalientes. First and foremost is that I have a comfortable place to stay and a neighborhood where food and other supplies are readily available within walking distance.

While I am living alone I am definitely not lonely. I have a great phone plan and have unlimited international calls. My family and friends are very accessible.

The highlight is definitely the video calls to my daughter and granddaughter. The other day Madeline sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to me and my heart melted.

Then there are the texts and messaging on social media apps. I’m really limiting my time on Facebook as I’m tired of all the misinformation and inaccurate statistics. I know what I need to do to stay healthy and I’m doing my best.

I go out for two short walks daily. I usually pick up food at this time as well. My fridge may be small but it’s adequately stocked.

I join in discussion groups on the Mayo Clinic website. These are a great source of support at this time.

I’m really enjoying a course I’m taking from University of Toronto. The topic is dealing with anxiety in the face of COVID-19.

I color every day and I listen to music. I watch movies in Spanish. I’m participating in an online Bible study. I do online church services. And I still do the SAIL exercises.

I take time to meditate. And I take time to contemplate life. I’m pretty sure there will be some big changes in my life when this pandemic is no longer a threat and becomes treatable instead.

I live in the present. Mindfulness is key. I want to avoid any unnecessary PTSD in the aftermath.

Last but definitely not least, prayer has been an important part of my life for some time. But it is even more meaningful now.

What are you doing for yourself?

The Power of Prayer

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The Power of Prayer

Prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually, it’s been much more intense in the last few weeks.

I participate online in a home group with Church of the Rock in Winnipeg, Canada. We watch a short video and then discuss it. One of the pastors serves as a host. The series we are currently studying deals with prayer. And it has me thinking about prayer a lot more than usual, especially the circumstances surrounding when, why and how I pray.

We tend to pray for ourselves when we are in need much more than when things in our lives are going smoothly. Somehow praise for God isn’t always included. But there is a reason why our church services begin with praise. This strengthens our communication and relationship with God.

I plead guilty to praying for others more often than praying for myself. But I am trying to change that. My prayers with God have become more like conversations with a friend. I take more time to pray each day, always including praise.

And now, what prompted me to write this post.

Last week, someone in my past contacted me, someone I haven’t heard from in years. We are blood relatives and although we lived in different cities in Canada,  we were quite close. But it’s interesting how my divorce and my becoming a Christian has completely changed our relationship. While I have reached out to him when he has experienced crises in his life during the last decade, I have undergone four major surgeries without hearing a word from him. My daughter got married. My first granddaughter was born. Still no acknowledgment on his part. And yes, he was well aware of all of these events. Last week I received a text on Facebook Messenger from him. Not a text to sincerely inquire as to my well-being. Nope. He had an agenda. He had a new venture on his mind and he would have benefited financially had I gone along with this.  Needless to say I have had no response to my text informing him that I was not interested in this venture. And I wonder if and when I will ever hear from him in the future.

When he needs me in his life and it’s convenient for him, then he reaches out. Otherwise I am ignored and forgotten, like a book that gets put up on a high shelf never to be dusted.

However God forgives my sins and I need to forgive others. There is no room in my heart for anger or bitterness. I want my heart to be filled with peace, love and tranquility.  So I have chosen to pray for this cousin instead.

Prayer is powerful.

The Power of Prayer

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The Power of Prayer

Prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually, it’s been much more intense in the last few weeks.

I participate online in a home group with Church of the Rock in Winnipeg, Canada. We watch a short video and then discuss it. One of the pastors serves as a host. The series we are currently studying deals with prayer. And it has me thinking about prayer a lot more than usual, especially the circumstances surrounding when, why and how I pray.

We tend to pray for ourselves when we are in need much more than when things in our lives are going smoothly. Somehow praise for God isn’t always included. But there is a reason why our church services begin with praise. This strengthens our communication and relationship with God.

I plead guilty to praying for others more often than praying for myself. But I am trying to change that. My prayers with God have become more like conversations with a friend. I take more time to pray each day, always including praise.

And now, what prompted me to write this post.

Last week, someone in my past contacted me, someone I haven’t heard from in years. We are blood relatives and although we lived in different cities in Canada,  we were quite close. But it’s interesting how my divorce and my becoming a Christian has completely changed our relationship. While I have reached out to him when he has experienced crises in his life during the last decade, I have undergone four major surgeries without hearing a word from him. My daughter got married. My first granddaughter was born. Still no acknowledgment on his part. And yes, he was well aware of all of these events. Last week I received a text on Facebook Messenger from him. Not a text to sincerely inquire as to my well-being. Nope. He had an agenda. He had a new venture on his mind and he would have benefited financially had I gone along with this.  Needless to say I have had no response to my text informing him that I was not interested in this venture. And I wonder if and when I will ever hear from him in the future.

When he needs me in his life and it’s convenient for him, then he reaches out. Otherwise I am ignored and forgotten, like a book that gets put up on a high shelf never to be dusted.

However God forgives my sins and I need to forgive others. There is no room in my heart for anger or bitterness. I want my heart to be filled with peace, love and tranquility.  So I have chosen to pray for this cousin instead.

Prayer is powerful.

Something’s Missing

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Something’s Missing

I’ve written quite a few blog posts over the years. Two topics I never write about are religion and politics. But today I’ve decided to touch on religion.

Last weekend I was at a webinar at church dealing with children’s ministry. I am an active volunteer in this field at Leavenworth Church of the Nazarene. The highlight of the summer for me is reaching out to the children during Vacation Bible School. In the fall before I head back to Mexico I will also help out in the Wednesday evening children’s program. I also have volunteered with Light the Night, although this year my time here in the USA is up before the actual event takes place this year.

Back to the Webinar. In the presentations and subsequent discussions, they confirmed what had been missing in my own life, what I had missed out on in my childhood. And I now am more able to fully understand the newly found comfort that I have in my life today.

As a child, along with my family we attended Herzlia Adas-Yeshurun, an Orthodox Jewish synagogue in Winnipeg. Weekdays I found myself at Hebrew School after regular public school classes let out. Friday nights and Saturdays were spent in synagogue. Sunday morning was at Hebrew School as well.

Families were separated and did not sit together. Because this was an Orthodox synagogue, the women sat on one side of the sanctuary and the men sat on the other with a tall barrier (a mechitzah) in between. This was to prevent distracting the men from prayer.  Women were not allowed up on the front platform (the Bimah) to conduct or participate in services. They were not allowed anywhere near a Torah.

I learned all the prayers in Hebrew and in English. At home we did keep kosher and observe holidays. But there was something missing. That something was that I never really had a relationship with God. I was merely going through the motions of being a Jew. If I ever did question anything I was learning in Hebrew School, my parents would admonish me and tell me that what I was learning was right and that it wasn’t to be challenged. For instance, I particularly found it hard to understand why my parents frowned upon my associating with a Catholic girl who lived nearby. After all, are we not to love others, no matter what religion they practice?

By some miracle I did marry a Jewish man. We didn’t keep kosher and holidays were merely endured for the sake of our parents. Practicing a religion did not exist for us until we had children, when it became somewhat of a dilemma.

We provided our children with a more Conservative-Reform type of background. When they were young, they attended a Jewish parochial school. My son had a Bar Mitzvah and my daughter had a Bat Mitzvah. They grew older and were no longer interested in the traditions. That was fine with me. And religion drifted out of our lives.

In 2009 I was baptized at Church of the Rock in Winnipeg. A few months later I went on a mission trip to Mexico with members of my church. Two things happened. I fell in love with the people and the country of Mexico. But more importantly I actually put into practice as a Christian what I had learned. I wasn’t merely talking the talk. I was now walking the walk.

Finding a Christian church in Mexico, a predominantly Catholic country, is quite a feat. Consequently I often find myself in a Cathedral where I contemplate my own meditation and prayers. I consider Leavenworth Church of the Nazarene as my home church, and am so thankful to have found this treasure two years ago when I first visited Leavenworth.

Pastor Becky Goodman is pastor of children and families here. She has become a good friend and we have often have stimulating conversations. We were out for dinner a couple of weeks ago and she asked me how I could have gone without religion for thirteen years given the upbringing I’d had. My reply was that you never miss what wasn’t there. How do you miss a relationship with God when there was never one to begin with?

Recently I visited a friend in hospital. Before we left, we gathered around and held hands and prayed. Prayer is powerful as is giving praise to God. These are two concepts that were also missing from my childhood. The words may have been spoken back then, but there was no meaning behind them.

I messed up with my own children. I was so quick to dismiss religion from our lives back then. I passed my non-relation down to my children. But a new opportunity has been provided for me. I have a new granddaughter. It is my fervent hope that Maddie will be here for Vacation Bible School in four years time when she is old enough. I so want her to experience a true, loving relationship with God. I do not want what was missing in my life to be missing in hers.