Tag Archives: relationships

May3

Do It Again!

Posted on by
Standard
Do It Again!

So often people want to talk about what they could have or should have done differently. Or maybe they shouldn’t have done it at all. I like to think of things I’ve done and if I had the opportunity would definitely do again. In this post I’ll touch on four of them.

I missed the first couple of weeks of high school. My friends from middle school were all going to Kelvin High and I lived in the catchment area for Grant Park High. My parents refused to sign the form that would have allowed me to change high schools. I never did hand in the registration form at Grant Park so I wasn’t registered anywhere. Instead I hung out at Memorial Park where I met some really interesting people. Of course eventually someone did catch on and I wound up at Grant Park. But those couple of weeks were awesome!

I had just received my certification for teaching ESL from University of Manitoba. I taught in a program at Red River College over the summer. Then it was time to find a job. I received a phone call from a school in Culiacan, Mexico and decided to head south. Yes, Culiacan is notorious for having one of the strongest cartels in the country. But I had a fabulous year in Mexico. It was so fabulous that when I returned to Canada to supposedly stay, instead I turned around and went back to Mexico. The past twelve years have been amazing!

That brings to mind the summer of 2015 when I came to Leavenworth for two weeks and stayed for four months. Then I made the decision to turn into a snowbird after living fulltime in Mexico for a few years. But I have become a snowbird returning to Washington State and not Canada. I’ve lived in different areas and have done some exploring. I’ve met some wonderful people who have now all become a part of my extended family. We laugh, we cry and we have incredible adventures together. It just doesn’t get any better!

But I’ve saved the best for last. I have two fantastic kids and it was worth all the nausea during pregnancy and all the pain during childbirth to be blessed with my son and my daughter. It was well worth moving my office home so I could be with my kids from infancy to adulthood. I enjoyed numerous hours volunteering with all the activities they were involved in. I have fond memories of bands practicing (of course they practice at the drummer’s home), chauffeuring, living in bowling alleys, coaching sports, being Akela of a cub pack and so much more. Yes, those were incredible days indeed!

I would do all of these all over again given the opportunity. High school, college, adulthood. It doesn’t matter. These are all great experiences that I would gladly repeat again.

Apr23

Playing The Victim

Posted on by
Standard
Playing The Victim

The main character in my book is the master of this. He thrives on attention-seeking behavior. He doesn’t assume responsibility for his actions. He always blames someone else when things get screwed up. After all, that’s easiest, isn’t it? And the more he does it, the more comfortable he feels about it. Even though it usually all blows up in his face, that still doesn’t stop him.

Of course this got me thinking about my own life. It’s really easy to step into that victim mentality. I think we all do it from time to time. I know I have. The big problem arises when we make a habit of doing it and it then becomes the norm. We get stuck and somehow it just feels too comfortable and we don’t even attempt to get out.

As adults it’s easy to blame parents for the mess in our lives. My character is really great at doing this. He’s been doing it since he was a teenager. My character is also struggling with mental health issues. So when he doesn’t play the blame the parents card, he blames the mental health issues when there are behavior problems. He has this all perfected by the time he becomes an adult.

We all face challenges in life, mental and physical. Playing the victim results in hearts filled with anger and bitterness. I’d rather have a heart filled with peace and tranquility. Wouldn’t you?

Jan29

A Different Post

Posted on by
Standard
A Different Post

This isn’t the post I had intended to write today. However I feel the need…..no actually I want to write about this today. So please bear with me.

Life is complicated. Families are complicated. As a mother there is always that need to protect your kids, even when they’re adults and have kids of their own. And it makes it even harder when you live thousands of miles away in a different country.

Something happened last week and my kids were caught in the middle. And I am so incredibly proud of them that they did the right thing. Maybe I did do something right when they were growing up. At least I’d like to think that was the case.

It’s difficult enough attending an event like they did in the first place. The extenuating circumstances made things awkward and uncomfortable for them. But they did it.

My close friends back in Winnipeg will know the details. They understand the situation and also admire my kids for doing what they did. There is no need to go into more detail than that.

I had a video call with my kids yesterday. It was the best way possible to wrap my arms around them and hug them. Somehow the miles disappeared for that short time. Technology enables us to send love wherever in the world we are.

Okay. That’s my post for today.

Have a great Sunday!

Jan18

Whirlwind Weekend

Posted on by
Standard
Whirlwind Weekend

I just returned from a fabulous weekend in Culiacan with my family. And I’ll add that it’s the highlight of my winter in Mexico this year.

Culiacan. This is the city where my Mexican adventure began back in 2010. When I first arrived, my Spanish vocabulary was extremely very limited to Cerveza fria por favor. Juan wanted to improve his English and I desperately needed to learn some Spanish. We both taught at Senda and would meet in the library where Juan patiently helped me read children’s books.

At the time he and his wife Lucila had one child. Juan Carlos had just turned one. The family has grown and they now have four boys. And I have four nietos.

On Saturday night my granddaughter Madeline called me from Kelowna. This was a really special video call because she got to meet my Mexican family. She was a tad overwhelmed as the boys were eager to talk in English to her and one even showed her a picture he had colored. Madeline commented that it was a little crowded with everyone in the room. She is an only child so it is very different.

The boys were all excited to see her and commented on her blond hair. I have always talked about Madeline to them and it was nice that they all had a chance to meet. We’ll have to do it again the next time I go to Culiacan.

One of our favorite pastimes is playing board games. This weekend we played Uno and Scrabble. We play in Spanish and English.

The boys are learning English at school. Juan Carlos received a certificate from Cambridge recently. I helped Jose Agustin with his homework over the weekend, another of my favorite things to do when I visit.

Although I’m not Catholic, I always go to mass with my family. Sunday evening we were at La Lomita. My ten year old grandson was sitting beside me with his arm around me and his head resting on my shoulder. He looked up at me and said “Grandma I love you” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Life just doesn’t get any better than that.

Dec7

Why Write?

Posted on by
Standard
Why Write?

I’m often asked why I write. There is no simple answer to that. I enjoy writing. I never had the time to write before. I can choose the topic unlike when I was back in school in English class. I don’t have to count words although I do have to be cautious when it comes to spelling and grammar. I’m retired so I can write at any time I want, day or night. I choose the background music, something I never got to do back in school either. But mostly, I find writing relaxing, almost a meditation.

Writing is challenging. Although I’m currently writing fiction, I’ve still had to do considerable research along the way. While the story primarily takes place in some small, fictitious town in California, my main character is struggling with a health issue. And that requires research. And then there are issues in the legal system that need to be considered. These tend to vary from state to state. Of course I’m drawing on psychology when it comes to family dynamics and resolving conflict.

There are days when my characters don’t talk to me. That is quite discouraging. I’ve had days where I’ve totally erased every single word I’ve written. And yes I still find that relaxing as well as frustrating. After all, the reality is that life is like that. The road is not a straight one and it’s often necessary to meander here and there. So why shouldn’t writing be like that?

Why do I write a blog? That started when I was living in Guadalajara years ago. I was sharing a house with two guys who were computer geeks. One was a web designer and the other was running a business in the USA while living in Mexico. They got me going on WordPress. At first it was mainly to let my friends back home know what I was up to. And I must admit that I could be doing a lot more on this site. But I’m content with what I’m currently doing. It serves the purpose. And I’m flattered that I now have followers from all over the world.

However there are always things I will not write about. I tend to shy away from religion and politics. These are very controversial topics and I don’t want to offend my readers. I also have friends who tell me things in confidence. While these would make great material for blog posts, it’s not my story to tell.

I have my own story to tell. I’m not as forthcoming as some writers about my more personal life. My reasons for that have changed over the years. There are details that I care to share only with my closest friends. That may change someday, but write now I’m comfortable with the way it is. And I respect and admire writers who are able to put everything out there for everyone in the world to read. I have writer friends in Missouri and Illinois who bravely do this and I always look forward to their blog posts.

Remembering you today as always, Koal. I can’t believe it’s fourteen years since you left us. Sending lots of love to doggie heaven.

Nov23

Happy Birthday Kyle

Posted on by
Standard
Happy Birthday Kyle

I haven’t embarrassed any of my kids in a blog post in quite a while so I think I’m due. Tomorrow is my son Kyle’s birthday.

It’s also Thanksgiving Day tomorrow. He used to ask me to write him notes to school to get out early so he could watch football. Keep in mind that although we lived in Canada, he seriously followed the NFL in the USA.

His team? The San Francisco 49ers. His hero? Joe Montana. I think he was 11 or 12 when he blew an entire declaration on a Joe Montana rookie card. Over the years he has added to his collection and his man cave is resplendent in 49er colors from the carpeting to the furniture, much of it authentic and licensed.

No idea where the years have gone. It seems like just yesterday he was a two year old proclaiming “Self Did It.” He was always very independent even back then. Then came the bowling years and the drummer years. And now Kyle is a CPA and a partner in his firm. Needless to say, I am extremely proud of my son.

The usual phone call from Mexico tomorrow will have to suffice. I miss the days when we both lived in the same home or city and I could give him a birthday greeting in person.

Happy Birthday Kyle! Love you lots!

Jul12

So I Went To A Funeral

Posted on by
Standard
So I Went To A Funeral

On Saturdays I generally check out the obituaries in The Winnipeg Free Press. Last week I didn’t have to wait until Saturday. It hit a lot closer to home.

While I’m in Winnipeg I’m staying with my friend Lise. When we first met, I was living in Oak Bluff and Lise was living in Fannystelle, about twenty minutes away on Highway 2. She and her husband Bob used to come in to Winnipeg for auctions, and that’s where we first met.

Both Lise and I had businesses on Ebay and would regularly check out estate sales and auctions in the rural areas. We also sold in rural flea markets together.

Years ago when Lorazepam was my best friend, Lise was one of my biggest sources of support. And she was also a rock when I was going through an ugly divorce.

I moved away twelve years ago but our friendship has remained strong. Throughout the years Lise has visited my parents regularly in a Jewish cemetery here in Winnipeg and even sends me photos. By the way, Lise is Catholic.

Bob has been in a personal care home since April. His condition deteriorated quickly in the two weeks since I had arrived in Winnipeg. And yesterday the funeral was held in Fannystelle.

Returning to Fannystelle brought back a flood of memories. I visited with people I hadn’t seen in years. And I heard of others who are no longer with us.

While I like to think that I am the one who makes the decisions, there is someone else who has a plan for me and leads me to exactly where I’m supposed to be as well as when I’m supposed to be there. I often ponder the reason, but right now it’s quite clear in this case.

Rest in peace, Bob. You’re in heaven now with Jesus.

May25

Half Time

Posted on by
Standard
Half Time

I just crossed the border at Nogales. What do you mean I’ve been back in the USA for three months already?

That got me thinking about all the changes since I first arrived in Leavenworth in July of 2016. I’ve always lived primarily in Leavenworth but I’m now living in East Wenatchee. But I still commute to Leavenworth to teach fitness classes.

Covid caused a lot of changes. The Senior Center in Leavenworth has yet to reopen. I went there often for lunch and I also volunteered in the kitchen. I played bridge there and went to craft afternoons.

Covid also affected the library programs which all switched over to Zoom. The rumor is that in person programs are starting again next month. And I am looking forward to those, including book club, craft programs and speakers.

I now attend a church in Wenatchee and have a new life group as well. It’s a much larger church than the one I used to go to in Leavenworth. It’s also a Free Methodist rather than a Nazarene church.

My attorney has told me he’s retiring at the end of the year and my doctor has told me she’s moving on to a different clinic. More changes.

Over the years I’ve met a lot of people and have developed close relationships with many who I now consider as part of my extended family. Friendships are especially important to me considering my nomadic lifestyle. And those constantly change depending upon where I happen to be living. But my extended family changes very little.

There are constants in my life here as well. This is my sixth year teaching fitness classes in the SAIL program. Next month I’ll be taking training in A Matter Of Balance. But more about that in a future blog post devoted to the program.

Another constant is the beauty of the mountains. I am as much in awe of it today as when I first came here six years. This is truly God’s country!

Mar20

Why Am I Here?

Posted on by
Standard
Why Am I Here?

I was sitting outside the other day enjoying the warm Washington sunshine and wondering why it is that I’m meant to be here. Have you ever done that? Wondered why you found yourself in a certain place or in a particular situation? I mean, you know how you physically got there, but it’s the why you came to be there that is so totally fascinating.

I vividly remember sitting in a bar one night in Guadalajara with my then boyfriend more than one decade younger, listening to a Mexican band playing music from the British invasion. As a teenager back in the 60s listening to the same music while living in Canada, never in my wildest dreams did I envision myself ever having this experience. It’s now several years later and I still wonder why I was meant to be there at that time, other than the obvious reason that I was teaching ESL in Guadalajara.

Just last month I was in Culiacan with my Mexican family. Although I am not Catholic, I always go to mass with them when I visit. My nine-year-old grandson did a reading and I was so very proud of him. The service was outdoors in the evening and I found myself distracted from the priest’s sermon by the stars twinkling above. It was as though they were smiling down at me and telling me that I was meant to be there and there was no need to even ponder the why.

I’m having great difficulty putting the finishing touches on this post as I have an Australian sheepdog and a cuddly cat vying for my attention. Thank goodness the fish are in their own tank. I wonder why I’m pet sitting in a home along the river in Peshastin, Washington aside from the obvious reasons that my friend needed a pet sitter and I needed somewhere to stay. Six years ago I’d never even heard of Peshastin, Washington.

I guess I’m always going to wonder why I’m meant to be where I am.

And that’s okay.

Because I have complete faith in The One who does know.

Mar6

It’s That Time Again

Posted on by
Standard
It’s That Time Again

Spring. Primavera. And the nomad is on the move again. I usually fly up north from either Aguascalientes, Puerto Vallarta or Mazatlan. This year was different. I took a bus across the border at Nogales. I don’t have a bucket list, but if you read my last blog post, you know that for some strange reason I’ve always wanted to go there.

I hate saying goodbye to people. You think I’d be used to it by now. But I’m not. I’ve been wandering around for the last twelve plus years. I’ve lived in numerous places in Mexico and the USA. And I’ve added to my extended family.

When I wrote this post, I was in Tucson, Arizona. I had hoped to plop down there for a month and just work on my book. But that isn’t going to happen. And that’s okay. One of the habits I’ve formed in the lifestyle I lead is always having a Plan B or Plan C all the way to Plan Z.

Whatever direction I wind up going, I’m comfortable with it. Why? Because there are always new people to meet and new places to see. So although it’s often difficult to move on, new adventures always lie ahead. And I continue to grow.